Here is how you know you’re probably out of touch: If you liken improvements in lipstick to a record-breaking testament to human endurance. That’s exactly what Allure’s editor, Linda Wells, did while speaking to the winners of the magazine’s annual Best of Beauty list. According to WWD, Wells said that those in the makeup industry are just like 64-year-old Diana Nyad, who set a record for swimming from Cuba to Florida:
Her [Nyad's] journey was fraught with sharks, jellyfish and squalls. Kinda sounds familiar, right? Every task, whether it’s in the lab or in the Florida straits, has its challenges. And the only way to succeed is to do what Diana Nyad did every time she failed. She learned what to adjust. She consulted experts. She tweaked her strategy, and she persevered. There aren’t a lot of new frontiers to conquer the way Nyad did. The mountains have been summited. The lightbulb has been illuminated. Even the mascara has been de-clumped. But there are always better solutions to age-old problems, and that’s what each of you winners has figured out.
Ugh. Look, we’re sure creating clump-free makeup is difficult. Clumps must be so damn frustrating. But in no way is producing a product that essentially profits off of creating self-esteem issues in women the same as what Nyad did. It’s just not.
However dumb this was, maybe Wells’ speech will inspire/fool all the advertisers in the audience to buy even more ads, which would allow Allure to increase whatever it’s currently paying its writers.
If that was the plan, then right on! Sing it, Wells. Get as weird with your analogies as you want.
[Image: Flickr/Steven Depolo]