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American Idol’s New Judge is “Sassy.” Shark Officially Jumped?

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Perhaps finally realizing that Paula Abdul is a train wreck we can turn away from, Fox is introducing a fourth jurist to the American Idol judge’s table, Grammy-nominated songwriter Kara DioGuardi.

Who?

Well, according to the LAT she’s “a smart, sassy lady.” But we’re still not convinced this is “change we can believe in,” so we consulted our Rabbi.

Rabbi Richard Rushfield, the venerable American Idol Watcher for the LAT, was philosophical about the change, telling FBLA:

“Last season, Idol crossed into the Promised Land with the arrival of The Chosen One and a generation raised on Idol.

“This season, now that we are entering the age of genetically engineered Idol perfection, I think they will be looking to create an even more terror-driven Idoldome, where the stakes and nerves are heightened as the arms race of competitive singing moves into the new age.”

Hmm. Does this mean Simon Cowell will start eating bugs? Because if that’s the case, we’re totally watching.

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