Here at FishbowlNY, we like to shield our users from pain. Today, in service to the community, we'll be live blogging the Congressional hearing about Mitchell report and Roger Clemens' involvement with it. We'll make it interesting. Check back early and often.

UPDATE — 1:55: Yep, still talking. Not a whole lot is getting done in D.C. today. Good thing it's not a fevered political season or anything.

12:11: John L. Mica (R-Fl) talks about McNamee's physical evidence. The once and future trainer is talking about the color of steroids. The minutiae is mind-numbing. CNN's given up. We're going to join them. Thanks for tagging along. Pitchers and catchers report this week. Simply incredible.

12:10: Since the credibility of Clemens and McNamee is pretty much destroyed, why not attack the Mitchell Report as well. Well done, Rep. Scheeler, well done.

12:08: "I only have five minutes, so I don't want you [Scheeler] to filibuster." The old guy's getting feisty.

12:04: Paul E. Kenjorski (D-PA) looks about 100 years old and pronounces Canseco "Can-seeco." He's questioning Charles P. Scheeler, who oversaw the evidence used in the Mitchell Report. They are arguing about the house party. We need a drink.

11:59: Breaking news — Could have been a palpable mass (or bruise), not an abscess. Still not hungry.

11:56: Back to butt abscesses. There goes lunch.

11:53: Davis — "This report [referring to a medical report about a Clemens MRI] was just made available to our side this morning." Um, what? Aren't they Congressmen suppose to be unbiased?

11:50: Lynch wants to ask more questions, but his time is expired. Sad. We're fading. Anyone got some B-12?

11:45: Controversy — Clemens' lawyer wants to address the hearing. That is NOT ALLOWED. After awkward moment, attorney whispers into Clemens' ear. They are very close.

11:42: Stephen F. Lynch (D-MA) gets his moment in the ESPN spotlight. We're talking about butt abscesses. This is getting ugly.

11:38: Burton — "This is really disgusting. You're [McNamee] here as a sworn witness. You're here under oath. And yet we have lie, after lie, after lie ... Roger Clemens, unless it's proven that he used steroids, is a baseball titan ... if he's done something wrong, he ought to be indicted, he ought to be punished, but I don't see any evidence of that."

11:36: Our apologizes to Burton. He's eating McNamee alive. Money quote: "You just lie when it's convenient."

11:35: ESPN's Jayson Stark is killing the live blogging over on the Worldwide Leader. He probably has a fleet of interns though. We're just one man on a laptop.

11:32: Dan Burton (R-IN) is going over the party and the gauze pads. Again. Sir, have you even been paying attention?

11:30: Pan shows McNamee trying to suppress a smug grin as Roger continues to squirm.

11:28: Clemens gets advice from his lawyer. Tierney is owning him re: credibility issues.

11:25: Clemens — "Prior to [McNamee] injected my wife, we had no conversation about HGH in any substance, err, detail..." Nice Freudian slip, dude.

11:21: McNamee admits he wasn't truthful to federal investigators last year. John F. Tierney (D-MA) says McNamee's credibility in the past has been questionable. Tierney attacks Clemens' credibility as well. Maybe they are both lying.

11:19: Would you send your kids to a party at Canseco's house unattended? Even with a nanny?

11:17: Clemens plays golf the day before and the day after he pitches.

11:13: Davis brings up a party at Jose Canseco's house in 1998. It wasn't a real party unless Fred Smoot was there.

11:08: McNamee-world, "It is what it is" means, "I was telling the truth." Is that NYPD lingo?

11:05: Davis begins to grill McNamee.

11:02: Watching this on three screens is overwhelming. Too many jump cuts. It's like a Bourne movie.

10:55: Clemens says Pettitte "mis-remembers" their conversations. Is that a word? Rogers seems to be getting more agitated and Hulk-like. Perhaps soon he'll be turning green.

10:52: Elijah E. Cummings (D-MD) keeps asking Clemens if he knows he's under Oath. Pretty soon we'll be having a pool to see how many times Roger is asked by Congress if he's sure he's not full of crap.

10:50: Clemens agrees with a statement his lawyer made about Pettitte being one of the most honest people in baseball. Someone fire that lawyer.

10:46: On why McNamee kept the syringes — "While I liked and respected Roger Clemens, I never really trusted him. Perhaps it was my time as a New York City cop."

10:44: McNamee: "Andy Pettitte has since gone on to be honest and decent [about me injecting them with HGH]."

10:42: McNamee's turn. He regrets what he's done. Also, his father served for 24 years in the New York City police department. This will make good color in the made-for-TV movie.

10:40: "Let me be clear, I have never taken steroids or HGH. Thank you."

10:38: Roger treated McNamee "like family." The former BoSox is already getting angry.

10:37: Clemens — "I've always believed that hard work and dedication were the only ways to achieve a goal." But steroids sure made it a lot easier.

10:36: Comment from the FBNY peanut gallery: "This would better be solved if they just asked Debbie Clemens to lift up a car."

10:34: Davis — "Today's hearing will not be timed." We're in it for the long haul, kiddos.

10:32: Clemens is taking notes. Or drawing stick figures images of him striking out Hank Aaron.

10:31: Tom Davis (U.S. Rep R-VA) takes the stage. He's learned a lot about HGH and steroids. "Today's hearing may be awkward." You could say that.

10:23: ESPN and Fox News are going with a straight-on shot of Waxman. MSNBC has a profile view. Did its cameraman oversleep?

10:20:: Waxman reveals previous instances when Brian McNamee was less than honest about steroids. Is the trainer being set up for a fall?

10:18: Waxman wanted to cancel the hearing after hearing the depositions. Others, notably Clemens' lawyers, thought differently. They wanted to give him a chance to testify in public.

10:16: Waxman — "All of us can have memory lapses ... but the situation today is unusual ... Someone isn't telling the truth." The plot thickens.

10:10: Chairman Henry A. Waxman (D-CA) recaps what's happened in previous episodes of the Mitchell Report testimony. There's a lot about Chuck Knoblauch, nothing which explains his sudden inability to throw the ball accurately to first base.

10:05: ESPN, Fox News and MSNBC are all covering the proceedings. We totally feel like TVNewser.