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The Montauk Monster: Will We Need a Bigger Boat?

montaukwolf.pngDid you know that the term “dog days of summer” originated with the Greeks who at the beginning of the sultry weather would sacrifice a brown dog to appease Sirius, the Dog Star, who they assumed was the cause of the hot weather? The Greeks certainly had their fair share of monsters, which brings us to New York’s own Montauk Monster who apparently has hit the big time! Not only was it featured on a variety of local newscasts last night but Monty made it all the way to CNN. Meaning among other things, we suppose, that Gawker is a reliable source, but the National Inquirer, not so much. Is this a country desperate for distraction, or what.

Anyway! Apparently a “scientist” was brought in who says “it can’t be a raccoon (legs/arms not in proportion to body), or a dog (feet “don’t match up” — ??) or a turtle (they don’t have teeth).” Should FBNY readers have anything to add to this deepening mystery feel free to drop us a line.

In Which the ‘Montauk Monster’ Gives New Meaning to Dog Days of Summer Media Blogging

IMG_1883_3_.JPGWe’ve sort of been ignoring the Montauk Monster up until now, mostly because between the water bug we found in the bathtub yesterday and seeing Jaws at far too young an age we’ve had our fill of scary water monster stories. However! Being that it’s a slow Thursday in July, and there is very little else to tell you about (you know, notwithstanding the blow the court just dealt to Bush over whether White House aides can be subpoenaed, or, the fact that the Bush administration is trying to make birth control the equivalent of abortion under the eyes of the law) we bring you the Montauk Monster!

Gawker is calling him Monty, and he washed up on the beach earlier this week looking very much like something out of Where the Wild Things Are only scarier because he came out of the depths of the ocean. Add to that the fact that no one seems to know what it is! Fox News is speculating it might be a raccoon or a dog and a commenter at Gawker writes in to say the whole thing is a photoshop hoax, though Gawker isn’t buying that argument. Some folks suspect it’s merely part of a viral ad campaign, though for what we hesitate to ask. Here at FBNY we’re all sticking with it being an animal experiment gone awry signifying that we are all destined for alien abduction on October 14, 2012. Or else it’s a dog, though we’d rather it be a monster than a sad drowned doggie, truth be told. Who wants to go to the beach!

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