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CBS Doesn’t Want Celebrity Genitalia at Grammys

The folks over at CBS really don’t like to have fun.

If they did, this memo wouldn’t have surfaced Wednesday that’s asking celebrities attending the Grammys on Sunday to cover up their breasts, buttocks and my favorite, buttock crack.

CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could  possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.

Which celebrity is going to step up now to show a little skin and make the CBS executives uncomfortable?

I have faith in you, Hollywood. Don’t let me down.

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