Archives: November 2005

…and unlike Aaron Brown, we don’t need no stinkin’ TV contract. Bring on the fries!

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I love when people use their power for good: Liz Smith dishes on her lunch at Michael’s with Aaron Brown two weeks ago Aaron Brown (a scoop which was broken by Fishbowl’s clutch “Lunch at Michael’s” team that very day! Sniffin’ out the story over Cobb Salad, that’s us). Two weeks later, Liz finally dishes on the meeting, because she can. Ah, MSM.

From the sounds of it, Brown is (er, was) – in high spirits (and having the entirety of your contract paid out until 2007 definitely helps there). He is magnanimous re: Jon Klein and CNN: “‘Of course, I think they made a mistake,’ laughed Aaron. ‘But . . . they’re entitled.’” Again, the contract thing? Definitely helpful.

But he’s lookin’ for work and thinkin’ of maybe writing a book (no doubt incentivized to land his own million-dollar deal), and eschewing fries in order to bring the hotness (Liz said he looked “younger and more handsome than he ever does on-air,” which Fishbowl inadvertently corroborated by failing to recognize him).

It’s better than a want ad and almost as blatant, given Liz’s shilling for Aaron at the end (see headline above). She stops just short of providing his agent’s number, but we’ll pick up that ball: give Carol a shout-out at (212) 765-3040, at superagency NS Bienstock (not to be confused with Bialystock & Bloom), which also reps Diane Sawyer and Dan Rather.

When Fishtern Maureen Miller suggested running a hodge-podge on Rog Hodge, we were thrilled, and eagerly awaited what we were sure would be the type of work that transcends the run-of-the-mill video artist masturbating in his studio. (Masturbating in one’s studio is so 2004.) We were not disappointed; our Maureen got the goods on Hodge and his Onanistic, genital-celebrating proclivities, which delighted her almost as much as his manly chin and strong cowboy arms made for balin’ hay. This, dear reader, is her breathless story.

When I heard that Roger Hodge, aka “Rog Hodge” had been named editor of Harper’s, my reaction was strangely akin to Gawker’s: A prettier Wes Anderson, with better-fitting blazers — the boy was fiiine!

But beyond that, I quickly saw that this was, in fact, a story of the West. More accurately, Hodge is exactly what the New York media is missing, its very own cowboy poet, a real-life Eli Cash (Hodge is even writing a profile of “Western epics” poet Cormac McCarthy. Coincidence? I think not.)

Which made Maureen think: What poetry is the fruit those tenuously clasped hands, that sober expression? Unfortunately, LexisNexis did not provide the good word, and we lack McCarthy’s facility with parataxis and hypermasculine prose forms to translate Hodge’s print output into poetry ourselves. But Factiva had the articles.

Here at Fishbowl we shall call these excerpts, ever so creatively, “The Hodge Podge” (full name: “The Hodge Podge of Rog Hodge: You Can’t Take The Boy Outta Dodge”). Deep thoughts on genitals and our sacred seed after the jump.

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How long, how long can I sing this song? If it’s the song of success and relevance and you’re U2, well then, forever, says David Carr. Carr analyzes U2′s staying power and lauds their savviness, realness and techno-awareness, through the mulleted times and beyond. [NYT]

She hears in mysterious ways: Poor Diane Sawyer — she’s ill with an ear infection which forced her to miss her interview with CIA honcho Porter Goss. Aw. Feel better! And a slap on the wrist to whatever “network exec” sniped to Page Six that “She always calls in sick when she’s unhappy. She feels they’re not paying enough attention to her.” Someone owes someone an anonymous apology. On your knees, boy. [NYP]

Tryin’ to throw their arms around the world: The New York Observer‘s Rebecca Dana reports on the growing trend of American cable newsies migrating to Al-Jazeera International (presumably because they still haven’t found what they’re looking for on American networks). The BBC’s David Frost, former CNNer Riz Khan, possibly Nightline’s Dave Marash are attracted to the international reporting opportunities and the chance to reach an untapped audience, possibly help bring a new and improved picture of America to the Arab world. Will it work? Who knows?
P.S. Rejected depressing titles for this item: “Until The End of the World,” “In God’s Country,” Lemon. But, see also “Peace on Earth” and “When Love Came To Town.” [NYO]

Even better than the real thing: Prolific week for Jack Shafer; in another new column today he blasts the Wall Street Journal for puffing up the similarities between crooked Congressman Rep. Randy “Duke” Cunningham (R-Calif) and former disgraced speaker of the House Jim Wright. It’s true, Wright was on the take, but as Shafer says, “Cunningham’s offenses to Wright’s is like comparing a Brink’s job with the looting of a Pez dispenser.” Shafer doesn’t like it when the WSJ exaggerates. [Slate]

Last night Jon Stewart went to town on NBC’s Thanksgiving Day Parade coverage, in which Katie Couric, Matt Lauer and Al Roker failed to report that the M&M balloon had struck a lamppost in Times Square and injured an 11-year old girl and 26-year old woman (or, as we like to call it, “News You Can Use…Unless You’re NBC”). Instead, NBC broadcast footage of last year’s M&M balloon crossing the finish line (or, as we like to call it, “News You Can Use…From This Time Last Year”). OUCH.

Jon’s theory: “I assume hit the lamppost because they weren’t paying attention because they were too busy sodomizing each other – I don’t think that parade’s ’til June!” Which goes well with some choice Al Roker commentary:

“Will these classic candymen get out of this delicious dilemma? Hard to say, but when it comes to sweetness, yellow and red continue to melt your heart – but not in your hand.”

Maybe I’m depraved but I see innuendoes all over that (plus, melting in your mouth is totally implied. Hey, don’t shoot the m&messenger).

After a few more banal soundbites, during which it is widely agreed that NBC made their on-air talent look like chumps, Jon unwittingly rains all over the anchor-mongering parade of late : “I don’t know what those guys make on the Today show but whatever it is, it’s not worth it” (I say “unwittingly” because we know Jon doesn’t read print media. Otherwise he’d know what they all make!).

As a side note, this turkey (to flog a metaphor) has interesting timing as the rumors swirl about Katie Couric being wooed by CBS – surely on accont of hard-hitting journalistic pieces like her Runaway Bride interview back in June. I’m gonna put it out there: I can’t quite see it happening.

I am far less certain about another divisive issue, however: Is Adrien Brody hot? That nose! That beanpole bod! That frenetic, hummingbird-like quality! I never used to think so. Though to be fair, “The Pianist” was hardly a glamour vehicle. Nonetheless, his weird androgynous appeal was workin’ for me last night, I must admit (though not the most compelling interviewee, sad to say). Hmm. Why not let the December cover of Men’s Health cast the deciding vote. To the right, if you hadn’t already noticed. Ah. Okay, then. (NB: The cover says that AB went from “Scrawny to Brawny!” So maybe the hotness is recent. Though I do remember appreciating those Ermenegildo Zegna ads.) In other news, I think Men’s Health is my new favorite magazine.

There was more to The Daily Show, of course — Rob Corrdry did a funny holiday shopping bit called “OK Consumer” which won big points for the title alone, about the annual rite of post-Thanksgiving bargain hunting, aka “Just Another Manic Black Friday and Cyber Monday.” That was a blatant attempt to be the first person ever to combine Radiohead and The Bangles references in one paragraph. I defy you to find another. Otherwise, that was it – except for a very happy birthday to Jon! If you’re wondering what to get him, I’d spring for a subscription to Men’s Health. Scrawny to Brawny, Jon!

Enlarged cover pic of Adrien and his six-pack after the jump. Happy Late Thanksgiving Coverage!

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We have never been more jealous of Cameron Diaz, and it has nothing to do with Justin Timberlake: Julie Andrews plays one of our favorite games, namely “cast your dream remake of “The Sound of Music!” Julie’s pick for the demure young Fra&#252lein is Cameron Diaz, which would be good for the pratfalling (sitting on a pinecone! Falling out of a canoe!) but maybe she’s a little past the whole super-innocent-nun thing. Ooh! I’ve got it! Rachel MacAdams. Innocent, lovely, AND Canadian. Pre-Syriana weight gain Clooney for the captain, perhaps, maybe with his “Good Night and Good Luck” buddy Jeff Daniels as Uncle Max? Whoopi Goldberg as the Mother Abbess? Alexis Bledel as Liesl? (AJ Jacobs would like that). And is it me or is Ryan Phillipe a perfect Rolf?). I think sometimes we all need someone older and wiser telling us what to do (those who need someone sixteen going on seventeen, best keep those impulses in check. AJ Jacobs, I’m talkin’ to you). [NYDN]

CJR’s Steve Lovelady takes NYT crack biz reporter Gretchen Morgenstern to task for alarmist predictions that she can’t back up. Fortunately, her article is behind the TimesSelect subscription wall so only 135,000 people really have any reason to panic. [CJR]

Defending AndyCoop: Over at TVSquad there was apparently quite a hue and cry over CNN’s replacement of Aaron Brown with Anderson Cooper, so much so that editor Bob Sassone felt compelled to defend poor Anderson’s honor. I actually did not know that Anderson started as a private citizen hoofing it through war-torn regions with just his video camera. It’s an interesting piece, not only for its content but for what prompted it. I wonder if Jon Klein anticipated this kind of sustained reaction to the dissolution of “fire and ice.” I’m guessing no. [TVSquad]

Newspaper Death Knell #4,285,723: The Village Voice’s Syd Schanberg muses about where newspaper dreams go to die and isn’t too concerned: good journalism, he thinks, will always thrive, because there will always be the need. He then goes on to laud some particularly fine work in his field, from the LAT to the NYT to The Nation to Celebrity Living. Wait, you mean Jessica Simpson‘s NOT pregnant? I feel so betrayed. [Village Voice, also WWD and Boldface Names]

From today’s freedom-fighting Lowdown:

For his estimated $500,000, I hear that 50 Cent performed only four or five songs – and badly – though he did manage to work in the lyric, “Go shorty, it’s your bat miztvah, we gonna party like it’s your bat mitzvah.”

Classic. Apparently some crazy dad (Long Island multimillionaire David H. Brooks) dropped a commensurate sum on the performing talent for his daughter’s bat mitzvah. Don Henley apparently did not relish performing for “a kid’s party,” obviously unaware that the solemn day meant the lucky bat mitzvah girl was a WOMAN. Wakka wakka, Don! Don’t tell the boys of summer!

Also: “the 150 kids in attendance seemed more impressed by their $1,000 gift bags, complete with digital cameras and the latest video iPod.” Sigh. I remember when those glittery spray-paint t-shirts were a really big deal.

Oh, a p.s.: apparently Brooks is a defense contractor. That’s just depressing.

Not-so-Petty cash to rock bat mitzvah [Lowdown]

As reported by David Carr in today’s NYT, Roger D. Hodge has been named to succeed Lewis Lapham as editor of Harper’s Magazine. Hodge (or “Rog Hodge” as we shall now unoriginally dub him) is the current deputy editor, a nine-year veteran of the magazine representiing a safe, solid choice.

So – who is Rog Hodge and what will become of Harper’s?

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss:

“It will be the same magazine,” he said. “We are not going to tear up a good format that is working. I don’t have so much vanity that I think I have to walk in and put my stamp on it.”

Meet the new boss’ boss, publisher John R. MacArthur: “I think it is very important to ramp up the journalism in the magazine and develop a more serious presence in Washington,” he said.

…but either way, this should help a lot when putting together the Index:

Mr. Hodge was born and raised in Del Rio, Tex., and as the son of a rancher knows his way around cattle, sheep and a gun.

And finally, always look on the bright side of life:

“This is a great time to be editing a magazine,” he said. “There is a global war on terror, a war in Iraq and we have a presidential administration that is collapsing. And we don’t seem to have any politicians that know what to do about it.

Yay! The new editor’s an optimist!

Harper’s Set to Name its Next Editor [NYT]

Yesterday’s conjecture, today:
Who’s Next at Harper’s? [Encyclopedia Hanasiana]

Give Lloyd Grove an inch, and he’ll take a mile. Over at Slate Jack Shafer loves him for it and thinks Time Warner’s Richard Parsons is a tool. Lloyd Grove, freedom fighter! We attribute it all to the belt buckle. [Slate]

The Village Voice and The New Times: Their love is real, dammit: And who are the FTC and the Justice Department to argue? Both bodies okayed the pair’s merger and it’s all but a done deal. Hooray for independent media! [NYP]

Brr! It’s cold in here! It must be the prescription drugs in the atmosphere! To quote the NYT: “Known for their athleticism, postage-stamp skirts and persuasive enthusiasm, cheerleaders have many qualities the drug industry looks for in its sales force.” Whoo! Go team!! [NYT]

Rebecca Traister takes a peek at Maureen Dowd‘s Amazon.com comments for “Are Men Necessary?” and quickly learnst that it’s not the spot to find your dream man. One charming gent has a message for MoDo: “WOMEN HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE. MEN DON’T.” Whew! Thanks for clearing that up, Mr. Sunshine. Hope you’re free on Saturday, ’cause apparently I gots to hurry! [Broadsheet]

Jemima Puddle-Duck: far more depressing as an adult The NYT reviews a Beatrix Potter exhibit in Amherst, Mass., bringing me back to one of my childhoold favorites, “The Tale of Jemima Puddle-Duck,” which I reread to my horror here. It’s awful: she tries and tries to find a place to lay her eggs in peace and a fox almost eats her, but then some dogs save her. Even so, the dogs eat her eggs! She eventually lays new ones, but not as many. Come on, Jemima’s not getting any younger. Moral of the story? WOMEN HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE. MEN DON’T. [NYT]

Miles and Soledad: “My Kingdom for an extra hour of sleep!” They didn’t actually say that but man that extra hour in the morning’s gotta suck. Please, I can barely get up in time to watch Wolf. [TVNewser]

Thanks to John Cook at Reference Tone, we now know exactly how Barbara Walters would conduct an interview with Saddam Hussein. Barbara was on “Larry King Live” last night discussing her “Ten Most Fascinating People of 2005″ special (are we sick of Jennifer Aniston yet?) with the always-inquisitive Larry, who wondered about her policy against profiling the infamous:

KING: You wouldn’t do Saddam Hussein?

WALTERS: No.

KING: But if he gave you the interview, would you do him?

WALTERS: Oh, I would do him for hours and hours and hours.

Yikes. We’re so juvenile. Please forgive us Barbara!

And If Osama Gave Her Some “Face Time,” He’d Forget All About Those 72 Virgins [Reference Tone]