Google’s methods, revealed! (Via Map Room.)

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

According to a memo to staff, a new group has been established at publisher Dow Jones to cover breaking business news for the Newswires, Online Journal, and often for the company’s print publications. The move signals a big shift at the company: by putting all of the spot news coverage under one umbrella, the company will ensure that multiple stories aren’t being written about the same news, and will free up time for reporters and editors at the Wall Street Journal to write longer, more analytical pieces. The full release:

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New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“Until now we’ve been operating under the misconception that YouTube’s audience looks like Lonelygirl15. Just as the teen dream was unmasked as an actress performing in a scripted, if clever, work of fiction, eMarketer’s just published study, Internet Video: Advertising Experiments and Exploding Content, reveals that 55 percent of YouTube’s U.S. audience falls within the 35 to 64 age range, not exactly Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. Even more surprising is that these viewers are affluent; 61.5 percent banked over $60,000 per annum. While this is bait for advertisers who are slowly shifting their ad dollars from broadcast to the Internet, it’s bad news for television, which has seen this age demo running for the exits.”

(Image from Communication at CDC)

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

“Because Zimbabwe was booked solid.

“Har har. Actually, in my capacity as an ad critic for Advertising Age, I go around the world giving speeches — lately about the collapse of the old media/marketing model before the Brave New World is built out. (I call it “The Chaos Scenario.”) Over 20 years, I’ve done 80% of my on-location NPR reporting (100s of pieces from, like, 25 countries) while on Ad Age business. This trip I was in Oslo, then Istanbul. Freedom of speech in Norway isn’t a big issue, so I decided to focus on Article 301.”

Article 301, of course, being … oh, yes, the part of the Turkish penal code which criminalizes “insulting Turkishness” and is often used to prosecute writers and journalists.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Click image to play video

WARNING: Video contains explicit oatmeal consumption that is not suitable for those with sensitive stomachs (NSFTWSS)

Because we don’t discriminate against spit-up from those under the age of two, we bring you this clip of the ‘bistro’s first media baby going to town on some oatmeal while shielded in style by her mediabistro.com bib. She goes by Lily Simone Hibbard, and proud parents Elena Vega and Justin Hibbard were introduced back in June 2000 by mediabistro.com CEO Laurel Touby at the company’s first-ever San Francisco party.

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New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

Did you sleep mainly with drummers or guitarists?
The thing about drummers is that they are easier than guitarists. There is less competition for them, and they are easier to please and not used to the attention.

I used to play drums. What’s the difference between celibacy and chastity?
Celibacy is static. It’s a state of grace, where nothing penetrates you.

WARNING: The above video contains language that is extremely explicit and so not suitable for work (SNSFW)

EARLIER:

And because we were there — moderating a great panel with bloggers Peter Rojas and Om Malik, and Web editoriorial managers Tom Groppe of The Deal and Laura Rich, soon to be of Portfolio — we are catching up today, so we don’t have a lot of time to write.

A few things were revealed:

WARNING: The above video contains language that is extremely explicit and so not suitable for work (SNSFW)

Last night in lower Manhattan, a sparse crowd of about 20 gathered in a corner of McNally Booksellers to hear a 70-year-old pornography legend, Al Goldstein, of Screw and Midnight Blue fame, read from his memoir, I, Al Goldstein: My Screwed Life. Except, Goldstein didn’t read anything. Bankrupt, drug-addled and certifiably insane, he embarked on a 22-minute, sometimes-coherent rant that was equal parts biographical, tragic, funny, scary, pathetic and beyond vile. In other words: Exactly what we expected.

For those of you who’d rather not view the above video (see disclaimer) here are some of the things we learned:

• Goldstein would like to meet a woman so he can perform oral sex on her. And take her to the movies.
• Goldstein lives in a Howard Beach apartment paid for by Penn Jillette of Penn & Teller.
• The Internet put Screw out of business.
• Goldstein’s ghost-writer and documentarian, James Guardino, looks uncomfortable when Goldstein talks about … well … anything.

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New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media.

SUE HERERA: CHARLIE GASPARINO JOINS US NOW WITH HIS STREET STORIES THAT HE’S HEARING ABOUT THE REPORT IN THE NEW YORK POST, CHARLIE, THAT HANK GREENBERG IS BUYING SHARES OF NEW YORK TIMES COMPANY. YOU THINK HE WANTS TO BE MORE THAN JUST AN INVESTOR HERE, RIGHT?

CHARLIE GASPARINO: YEAH, I THINK THIS STORY GOES BEYOND HIM TRYING TO BE AN ACTIVIST SHAREHOLDER TO GET THE FAMILY TO PRODUCE MORE PROFITS FOR SHAREHOLDERS. FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND, HANK GREENBERG IS ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN TRYING TO BUY THE ENTIRE NEW YORK TIMES COMPANY. THAT HE HAS APPROACHED INVESTMENT BANKERS AND ASKED THEM IF THEY WOULD WORK FOR HIM SO THEY COULD PUT TOGETHER SOME SORT OF A PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE NEW YORK TIMES COMPANY. NOW, INVESTMENT BANKERS HAVE TOLD HIM IT WOULD BE NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE. IF NOT IMPOSSIBLE, BECAUSE LET’S FACE IT, THE NEW YORK TIMES HAS TWO CLASSES OF STOCK, THE FAMILY CONTROLS THE VOTING STOCK WHICH MAKES IT DIFFICULT FOR HANK GREENBERG TO COME IN THERE OR ESSENTIALLY ANY INVESTOR TO COME IN THERE AND BUY THE COMPANY. BUT GREENBERG IS INTENT ON PUSHING THE ENVELOPE ON THIS.

Why?

Sources said Greenberg views the Times, which has a market cap of $3.3 billion, as a top-flight brand but one with an “artificially depressed” stock price.