We in the media are difficult, and dealing with us is a necessary evil requiring careful planning and canny preparation. For the San Francisco 49ers, that preparation took the form of a charming, tasteful video featuring lesbian soft-porn, topless blondes, racial slurs, gay bashing and a big thumbs-up to "hookers and booze." Head 49ers publicist Kirk Reynolds was the brains behind this particular operation, presenting it last summer as part of - get this - a diversity workshop. HA.

Reynolds also starred in the video, portraying SF mayor Gavin Newsom as he walks around Chinatown, cavorts at a topless lesbian wedding, and cautions team that their actions will "have an impact on this team" as he gets set to shower with a topless blonde. This dude has the worst judgment ever.

Naturally, the Mayor Newsom and all his diverse gay constituents are outraged, joining football fans in hating the 49ers (as if being the worst team in the league (2 wins, 14 losses) isn't bad enough). Reynolds resigned, hilariously claiming that his resignation had nothing to do with the video. He actually uses the "pursuing other opportunities" line.

For those of you who need a little sensitivity training yourselves, the video is available here, courtesy of the San Francisco Chronicle. If you don't want to see topless blondes, we've included the Chronicle's, uh, chronicle after the jump.

Segment 1 of 8:
Former 49ers public relations director Kirk Reynolds enters S.F. City Hall. Inside the mayor's office, Reynolds looks up over a doctored copy of the Chronicle (with Reynolds' face pasted over a picture of Gavin Newsom). Reynolds introduces himself as the mayor and invites team members to accompany him on a tour of the city.

Segment 2 of 8:
On a sidewalk in Chinatown, Reynolds-as-mayor asks a man walking past him (played by former 49ers trainer George Chung) to help him read an Asian language newspaper. Note: clip contains racial stereotyping and suggestive language.

Segment 3 of 8:
In a sendup of same-sex marriages, Reynolds presides over a mock wedding between two women staged inside the Mitchell Brothers theater on O'Farrell Street in San Francisco. [Nudity has been deliberately blurred by SFGate.com staff]

Segment 4 of 8:
Back out on the street, Reynolds tells a beggar (played by Julian Peterson) to "get a job." At SBC Park, the ersatz mayor emphasizes the importance of giving interviews to the local media, then throws out the first pitch. Afterward, the catcher thanks him for supporting "hookers and booze."

Segment 5 of 8:
At a Santa Clara jail, Reynolds talks about what team members should do in the event they are arrested. It concludes with a "prisoner" played by linebacker Jeff Ulbrich being shoved into a cell by a pair of uniformed guards. [Profanity]

Segment 6 of 8:
The expletives are plentiful when "mayor" Reynolds is heckled while conducting a mock TV interview beside a KPIX-TV news van.

Segment 7 of 8:
At an expensive restaurant Reynolds dines sumptuously on caviar and champagne, then laughs about the tab being paid by the taxpayers.

Segment 8 of 8:
Reynolds steps out of a shower as a buxom blonde steps in. He reminds players that there will be women in the locker room so they should wear a towel and behave professionally toward them. [Nudity and faces have been obscured by SFGate.com staff]