We love “Golden Girls” just as much as the next guy (no, thank you for being a friend), but the Bea Arthur-as-Mother-Nature madness has gone too far. Yes, she’s wonderful and gravelly-voiced and Maude-o-licious, but much as we leurve our menschly Brian Williams, we believe he was thinking of someone else when he suggested that she personify the Mother Nature on the cover of Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year” issue: Dena Dietrich, an actual person who actually played Mother Nature and actually resembles Bea Arthur.
For those of you old enough to remember (and indeed, Fishbowl is but a lil’ slip of a thing, we were tipped off by one of our more seasoned cronies), Chiffon Margerine had an ad campaign featuring Dietrich as Mother Nature with the tagline “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature” (aka the 70s version of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!”). Dietrich’s face and persona were well-known, and we think that might be what Williams was thinking of when he suggested Bea Arthur for the Time shoot.
What do you think? Does Dena look like Bea? Is margarine really an acceptable substitute for butter? If I threw a party, and invited everyone I knew, would you really get me the biggest gift? What would the card say? Let us know at firstname.lastname@example.org, especially if you’re Brian Williams and you want to dispel this swirling controversy once and for all.