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Jon Stewart on NBC’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Turkey

Jon on M&Ms.pngLast night Jon Stewart went to town on NBC’s Thanksgiving Day Parade coverage, in which Katie Couric, Matt Lauer and Al Roker failed to report that the M&M balloon had struck a lamppost in Times Square and injured an 11-year old girl and 26-year old woman (or, as we like to call it, “News You Can Use…Unless You’re NBC”). Instead, NBC broadcast footage of last year’s M&M balloon crossing the finish line (or, as we like to call it, “News You Can Use…From This Time Last Year”). OUCH.

Jon’s theory: “I assume hit the lamppost because they weren’t paying attention because they were too busy sodomizing each other – I Sodom&my.jpgdon’t think that parade’s ’til June!” Which goes well with some choice Al Roker commentary:

“Will these classic candymen get out of this delicious dilemma? Hard to say, but when it comes to sweetness, yellow and red continue to melt your heart – but not in your hand.”

Maybe I’m depraved but I see innuendoes all over that (plus, melting in your mouth is totally implied. Hey, don’t shoot the m&messenger).

After a few more banal soundbites, during which it is widely agreed that NBC made their on-air talent look like chumps, Jon unwittingly rains all over the anchor-mongering parade of late : “I don’t know what those guys make on the Today show but whatever it is, it’s not worth it” (I say “unwittingly” because we know Jon doesn’t read print media. Otherwise he’d know what they all make!).

As a side note, this turkey (to flog a metaphor) has interesting timing as the rumors swirl about Katie Couric being wooed by CBS – surely on accont of hard-hitting journalistic pieces like her Runaway Bride interview back in June. I’m gonna put it out there: I can’t quite see it happening.

the oddly compelling androgynous appeal of adrien brody.jpgI am far less certain about another divisive issue, however: Is Adrien Brody hot? That nose! That beanpole bod! That frenetic, hummingbird-like quality! I never used to think so. Though to be fair, “The Pianist” was hardly a glamour vehicle. Nonetheless, his weird androgynous appeal was workin’ for me last night, I must admitab-tastic adrien iii.jpg (though not the most compelling interviewee, sad to say). Hmm. Why not let the December cover of Men’s Health cast the deciding vote. To the right, if you hadn’t already noticed. Ah. Okay, then. (NB: The cover says that AB went from “Scrawny to Brawny!” So maybe the hotness is recent. Though I do remember appreciating those Ermenegildo Zegna ads.) In other news, I think Men’s Health is my new favorite magazine.

There was more to The Daily Show, of course — Rob Corrdry did a funny holiday shopping bit called “OK Consumer” which won big points for the title alone, about the annual rite of post-Thanksgiving bargain hunting, aka “Just Another Manic Black Friday and Cyber Monday.” That was a blatant attempt to be the first person ever to combine Radiohead and The Bangles references in one paragraph. I defy you to find another. Otherwise, that was it – except for a very happy birthday to Jon! If you’re wondering what to get him, I’d spring for a subscription to Men’s Health. Scrawny to Brawny, Jon!

Enlarged cover pic of Adrien and his six-pack after the jump. Happy Late Thanksgiving Coverage!


ab-tastic adrien ii.jpg

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