We won't lie to ourselves and say guest editing a magazine is the most rigorous of journalistic pursuits (unless, of course, you're Bono, in which case everything you do is life-alteringly important). Guest editors are chosen for their ability to boost sales, not their editorial discretion. Even so, we'd like to believe the illusion that they play some part in the decision -making process.

In its most recent issue, ESPN The Magazine, — a publication that's never seen an infograph it couldn't make bigger and less wordy, one that felt the need deface Rick Reilly's otherwise excellent debut essay about his relationship with his alcoholic father with distracting red lines drawing the reader's attention to a superfluous image of golf clubs — completely disregards this notion. In it, they include a list of things guest "editor," Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson, did during the process. They include smoking cigars and playing FIFA Soccer. Consider the fourth wall breached.

The full rundown, straight from the pages of the mag, is after the jump.

1. posing naked for potential cover photo (his idea)
2. smoking a cigar by the pool
3. watching Talladega Nights on one of three 50-inch flat screens that front a 30-foot aquarium
4. playing FIFA Soccer on his Playstation
5. providing employees with homemade cheesecake
6. trying but failing to organize a staff retreat to an establishment called Tootsies Cabaret

Yeah, that sounds about like our day, expect we have 60-inch TVs.