For the love of God, please keep that sweet, furrowed forehead safe: I'm sorry, but for some of us this is the lead news item today: Alias might kill off Vaughn? Page Six reports that a pregnant (and apparently divalicious now that she's been Afflecked) Jennifer Garner has put the pressure on the brass to eighty-six her former offscreen beau Michael Vartan , who also happens to be her onscreen soulmate. SOULMATE, J.J. Abrams. Come on, you made us sit through Lauren. Syd lost two years of her life. Can't we just be happy? Come on people, don't look at us. It's a slow news month. Or perhaps, that's what they want us to think...[NYP]

Yeah, but it didn't do so well when it starred Reese Witherspoon: Apparently, along with the frenzied epicenter of the New York Daily News, Atoosa Rubenstein's naked-parent-eschewing Seventeen and the immaculate environs of Wenner Media, we may soon get to peer into the hallowed halls of 4 Times Square - WWD's Sara James reports that Condé Nast brass are thinking about venturing into the reality arena. Fun! Editor's meetings with Graydon Carter - and someone's wearing the wrong shoes! A New Yorker staff meeting - and someone says something dumb! Now that SJP's on the cover, suddenly all the fashionistas at Vogue show up to work wearing Gap! The possibilities are endless, especially when you consider the drama inside Architechtural Digest. [WWD] Update: You mean it was based on a book? Well, I never.

Guess what? Hollywood hates print, too! As reported by LA Weekly's Nikki Finke, the WSJ, and our benevolent, remote-sharing big
brother out in LA-LA-Land, Hollywood's major movie machers will soon be cutting back on their newspaper advertising, and TV advertising is heading that way, too. Looks like a certain study-commissioning (or is that studly, commissioning?) blog chieftain knew from whence he spake; as yesterday's NYT points out, "The Aristocrats" has been all over Gawker of late and studios are changing the ways they are allocating dollars. As even the blog-eschewing Romenesko admits, quoting WaPo: "The blog is hungry. The blog will not be ignored." FEED THE BLOG! That was just fun to type.

Jossip, remaining ever-hopeful of good tidings: Our pink friend at Jossip is all glum that the "masthead hopscotch" over at ElleGirl yesterday didn't result in any hair-pulling or fisticuffs. Amazingly, he reports that the ladies are pleased as punch with the recent shufflings following the departure of Brandon Holley and subsequent ascension of Christina Kelly to the top spot. Well, good! I'm glad things are going well, for everyone -- and so is the anonymous ElleGirl freelancer who vented her frustrations into the tip box this morning: "I am so sick of people acting like the only editor of Jane magazine can be Jane Pratt! Half those people have probably never even read ELLEgirl, because if they did, they would know that it's whole ethos is a perfect prelude to Jane. Brandon was a fabulous editor at ELLEgirl, and Jane will not lose any of it's edgy appeal under her. Can you put THAT on your blog?!!!" Uh, apparently I can. I'm that all-powerful. [Jossip]

Who could hang a name on them? The Stones officially kicked off their latest tour yesterday, after warming up in their fave party city ever. Tells you something about Toronto women, huh sport? We're so cold we're so cooooooold. In any case, naturally the Media Miscellany pays them tribute today as they embark on the tour we never thought we'd see because we totally thought they were too old for the last one. But they're not! Don't question why they need to be so free; they'll tell you it's the only way to be.