Saddam on Froot Loops: "I would not eat them from the box, I would not eat them down a fox (hole)" Five soldiers assigned to guard Saddam Hussein have dished to GQ about what the deposed Iraqi dictator is really like. As it turns out, surprisingly human (disconcertingly so for the young guardsmen). The quick and dirty: he loves his Doritos with lil' sprinkling o' water, doesn't like Froot Loops, washes his hands compulsively, misses Reagan, anticipates his imminent return to power, laughs at his own jokes, gives fatherly advice, brews strong coffee, thinks Bushes 1&2 are "no good" but wants to patch things up anyway, will occassionally dance a jig, writes poetry, was in love twice, is proud of his beautiful country, and used to regularly order the imprisonment, torture and murder of his enemies or people who vaguely annoyed him. [NYDN]

What happens in Canada, stays in Canada, except when it doesn't: Apparently not everyone at CNN is staying on message as per the will of Jon Klein: CNN analyst and all-around blog-lover Jeff Greenfield proved that maybe he is a baked-potato brain after all by dissing his recently shakeup-happy network in public. Page Six reports that at last week's Banff World Television Festival in Alberta, during the "Straight News or Fake News: Shaping Public Opinion" panel discussion, Greenfield responded to a remark about simply defining history as "one [bleep]ing thing after another" by quipping "that can be CNN's new logo." Jeff, you bleeping baked-potato brain, don't you know that Jon Klein is ALWAYS WATCHING? Just like CNN's audience, when they're not watching Fox.

Scientology asks Katie: "Do you deserve to be enslaved?" Oy. RadarOnline has some new info about how Scientologists recruit their newbies to, you know, identify the Thetans within. Some questions they ask:

Okay, many of us could not fairly answer "no" to that last one, or the second-last one depending on your definition of "zapped." But seriously, if I know Joey Potter she would NOT stand for this nonsense! It would so be Audrey getting mixed up in a cult. Sadly, life does not imitate art; check out this handy chronology if you doubt, or this creepy, creepy interview with a Katie-bot.