NYT Style stalwart Bob Morris went from the page to the stage last night, starring in his one-man show, "The Aspirational Renter" at The Cutting Room, in which he riffed in song and interstitial patter about manicured Hamptons greenery, the righteous indignation of Dominick Dunne, the foibles of Lizzie, Jayson, and Lindsay Lohan's Dad; the promise of an Uma Thurman sighting making summer in Woodstock bearable; and, oh yes, the Hamptons, "where you party as a form of altruism."

Backed by "classically-trained pianist and Oxford educated publishing poo-bah" Jonathan Burnham, Harper Collins publisher, Morris took swipes at the summering set and his own lofty ambitions to join it before a standing-room only crowd sprinkled with the kind of boldface names that viscerally understood every joke (deep breath): New York Social Diarist David Patrick Columbia, who brought his camera and laughed heartily throughout; Jay McInerney and Jeanine Pepler; the ever-patient-and-understanding David Hirshey, there in support of his ivory-tickling Harper Collins colleague (along with additional HC folks Courtney Hodell, Marjorie Braman, and Michael Morrison); literary agent (and potent sperm donor) Ira Silverberg, Morris' boyfriend and major character in the story; Nadine Johnson with her son (a joint venture with former husband Richard Johnson); former toxic bachelor Rick Marin and his wife Ilene Rosenzweig; business writer Christopher Mason; David Haskell, EIC of Topic Magazine; decorator Mario Buatta; Sarah Nelson of Publisher's Weekly; socialite Beth Rudin De Woody, who has four names; InStyle's Martha McCully, Food and Wine's Dana Cowan, Gil "Stanley Bing" Schwartz, Star Magazine's Joe Dolce, and supermodel Jessica White (Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, Victoria's Secret). We didn't see her, but now we are especially glad we didn't order fries.

Morris' act was precisely the "savage little cabaret" it was billed as (in the -- yes, it had one -- press release), letting fly with tiny poison barbs at the outlying environs of NYC ("You're A Real New Yorker" became "You're A Loser From Islip" featuring Amy Fisher, Geraldo and the crowd-pleasing rhyming couplet "Whoah.../Where'd you get that camel toe?"), and "Walking in a Walker Wonderland" ("Gone away now is Bill Blass/Peter Bacanovic - alas/We wish you the best/Dear David Gest/Walking in a walker wonderland").

More drolleries après jump. Kiss kiss!

Full appreciation of Morris' humor requires a degree of snobbery belonging to a rarefied few ("I digest meals better knowing that Anna Wintour is at the corner table"), but even viewers who only come by their knowledge of Lizzie Grubman by actually being white trash (cough) could appreciate the fast-paced witticisms, tart observations (his song "Failure: The New Success" celebrated Jayson Blair, Grubman, 50 Cent, and George Bush) and consistently clever little rhymes (this reporter appreciated his attention to meter, refusal to fudge rhymes (no, "moth" doesn't rhyme with "golf," loser), and ability to pull off goofy alternatives like singing about Jayson Blair at the "paper of reca...if only he'd had a fact checka"). He also played to the top of audience intelligence, with throwaway reference like pairing "Jayson" with "fleeced" within a larger punchline. Cultured people like being reminded that they're smart. Extra bonus for Fishbowl: they also get every showtune reference you throw at them, which is loverly. They also all know the word "schmatte" (yet buy retail. Oy, such a thing).

It wasn't all snark - there was actually a growth arc for our protagonist, providing lofty counterpoint to the "Sagaponack/High colonic" artistic bent. In between yearning for the Hamptons and a Martha Stewart-decorated home, our Bob meets the transformative Ira, who whisks him off to Woodstock for a summer of fun in a cottage adjacent to the lesbian couple who are pregnant with the child of Ira's loins. Fun! Though Bob is initially resistant to the crunchy ways of his rustic neighbors, with the love of Ira and the lessons inspiried by Martha ("It's all about connections") and Lizzie ("Everybody's Trashy") he's able to rise above his rental aspirations and "own a house and a husband." Damn, I just totally spoiled the end for you. Sorry.