Not to be outdone by Maxim, The Phoenix put together a list of the 100 unsexiest men on the planet. Sarah Jessica Parker's hubby Matthew Broderick was nowhere to be found, but some media luminaries did make the list. Rupert Murdoch and Don Imus checked in at 18 and 19, respectively, while Mike Wallace and Matt Drudge took spots 24 and 25. Christopher Hitchens, undoubtedly propelled by the infamous shower photo, held strong in the 59 spot.

Some other names of note: Matt Lauer (43), Mark Zuckerberg (50), William Kristol (65), Sergi Brin and Larry Page (68 and 69), Chuck Klosterman (74), Tony Kornheister (96) and Jim Cramer (91).

(Your "winner"? Roger Clemens.)