Of late, we can barely be bothered to read the ever-thinning New York Press, which has become a shadow of its former self. But it was hard not to pick up this week's issue, with its three somewhat-naked people on the cover and the tagline "The New Underground Monogamy." Had we missed a major trend here? Since when has monogamy had to go into hiding?

A look inside at the article assured us we hadn't been missing out on the "next cool thing" by gleefully flitting from one New Yorker to the next these past months. Turns out the piece is really not about monogamy at all, but a contrived trend piece about sex parties that are allegedly attracting "faithful" monogamous couples. And (whew!) near the bottom we find out that "rigid monogamy is as outdated as homophobia."

Despite its poor case that swinging is any more a trend today than it was in the past (um, Plato's pimpage?), the cover will likely generate a little single-issue bump for the Press — a couple fewer bales of unread papers to send back to pulp — as the city's undersexed pore through the article to try and find out how to get to said parties. And hey, maybe it'll even attract some more hooker ads.