It's midnight and Harry Potter is back! I'm excited; I adore these books and I think J.K. Rowling is a brilliant and lovely writer (feel free to disagree with me, Muggle). Not only that, the books are oddly apropos to the state of affairs these days (come on, as if you can't recognize Cornelius Fudge on the pundit circuit. And Rita Skeeter is just another reporter with sourcing issues. Meanwhile, I'd love to get into Robert Novak's pensieve. If you've never read Potter, that sounds kind of dirty). In any case, just because I obviously can't have read the thing yet, I thought I'd make a few predictions after the jump. It's Friday night and I'm home, okay? Humor me.

Warning: This is both longer and geekier than originally intended. Also, there are spoilers for anyone who's not read through Book Five.

It occurs to me that this strays a bit from the Fishbowl mandate; but, it's Harry Potter, that huge juggernaut of words and buzz and super-geekery, and if we give our fishy love to Star Wars and Math Club, we can certainly give it to our favorite boy wizard. Once again, that came out wrong. Oh well.

So the big news on this book, revealed in an on-line chat with J.K. Rowling over a year ago, I believe, is that a major character beloved by Harry dies. We lost Cedric in "Goblet" - I don't know about you, but I cried. That whole scene in the graveyard was done incredibly well. Then in "Phoenix" we lost Sirius. A major father figure for Harry, but not a character we ourselves had much of an opportunity to grow to love. Not like, say, Albus Dumbledore.

Yes, Dumbledore is my pick to get it this time around. Not because I want him to go, obviously - no way, he's the greatest and the wise keeper of so many secrets, revealing them judiciously when the time is right (hey! Just like Robert Novak!). Nevertheless, I believe the stage has been set. First of all, his death was foreshadowed in Book One back when he told Harry, Ron and Hermione that he'd elected not to taste of the Elixir of life. We also know that, like Obi-Wan to Luke, he is both Harry's mentor and inspiration but Harry can't fully come into his own while Dumbledore is there to give - or withhold - validation. Only when Dumbledore isn't there to turn to will Harry have no choice but to rely fully on himself. What bildungsroman would be complete without the loss of the weighty father figure? Then again, Gandalf made it, so what do I know.

Other choices: Ron (never, but here's to him gettin' down with Hermione. It will totally get all weird and awkward between them. I LOVE IT. Bastard better not ignore her in the Gryffindor common room. Dude, you'll wear a SPEW button and like it). Snape? A friend suggested that his ultimate redemption might be dying to save Harry. But doesn't Harry owe him, taking on the burden of his bullying father? Snape knows much. There's a reason he's not the Dark Arts prof, and it's not what we think. He is an evolving character, but slowly. Also, whaddya bet he totally hooked up with Lily? Gross! Malfoy could have a change-of-heart-see-the-light arc but (a) it's also too soon for him and (b) that's too pat for Rowling. But there will - or should - be more to come from him beyond just being Lucius Malfoy's bratty son. Bratty does not necessarily equal evil. We'll see more of that this book, I predict. Oh no! Could Hagrid be the one to go?Just when he found awkward giant love with Madame Maxime! But, you know, dangerous pets are called "dangerous pets" for a reason.

Who, by the way, do we think is the Half-Blood Prince? Late-bloomer Neville? Sounded very much like it from the end of the last book. Long-suffering and child of gifted, tragic parents, Neville's arc is on the rise. I'd love to see J.K. lose him the baby fat and get him some sweet Wizard action under a table at the Three Broomsticks or something: "Have another butterbeer, Alicia Spinnet." Yes, these names really are just rolling off my brain. Ooh, and I think Fleur Delacour might be back to add more hormonally-infused fun. Yes! What of Harry and Cho Chang? Nah, too much baggage. She totally girl'd out on him in Book 5 and for good reason, but still. I predict they make out for a bit and then realize that they're better as friends. Well, they'll say that but really it's because one of them started sleeping with someone else or one or both of them are defensive and don't want to be the loser who's rejected first. Especially when everyone at Hogwarts was probably raising their eyebrows at the awkwardness of the union anyhow. She is a year older, after all. But he is good at Quidditch. Holy shit, is his uncanny ability to capture that elusive, fluttering Snitch code for something? Oh, my God. Grab him, Cho! Don't let him get away!

I really hope no innocent little kid has stumbled onto this post during the course of a wide-eyed Harry Potter search.

To wrap up, I make this point: I'm really excited to read this book and find out what happens, but knowing that a certain amount of darkness awaits gives me a bit of pause. I haven't really thought all that much about Harry & Co. since I read "Phoenix" two years ago, but writing this has made the characters come alive again in my brain and it's been kind of fun. And until I read the book, they'll stay exactly the same. No one will grow up and no one will be dead, and my Harry Potter universe will remain as it's comfortably been for two years. But as soon as I read the book that will change, and I can feel myself resisting that, mostly because I know it won't all be good. But, of course, I'll read it anyway because what else can one do? Which is a metaphor I kind of like, and maybe brings this a little bit more in line with Fishbowl's mandate after all.

p.s. This is way geekier than math club.