Former CNN "American Morning" anchor Bill Hemmer was ousted was ousted from CNN in May, choosing to depart the network were he'd spent 10 years and won an Emmy rather than be reassigned as senior White House correspondent. Surprise! Now he's joined Fox for a multiyear deal as a weekday anchor and correspondent. Quoth Hemmer in the Fox press release: "I am thrilled to be joining FOX News Channel, and I welcome the opportunity to be a part of the nation's leading cable news network." You hear that, Jon Klein? Snap!

TVNewser speculates that the move could bring in a whole whack of Hemmer-lovin' fans ("I want Bill tied to a chair with whipped cream on him" "I bet he would taste better than a hot-fudge sundae"). God, it's so infantile to have crushes on TV anchors.

Related funny non-partisan headline:
Bill Hemmer Demotes Self, Joins Fox News [Newshounds]

Related sound clips:
Hemmer to fall [Queen]
If I Had A Hemmer [Pete Seeger]
Hemmer and a Nail [Indigo Girls]
Sledgehemmer [Peter Gabriel]
Please Hemmer Don't Hurt 'Em [MC Hammer]