Because in this case, there’s no need to be clever, pun-tastic or salacious. The straight Dixon, IL facts are enough to hang some very bizarre headlines and first paragraphs on:
“No Plans to Change Shape of Illinois Church That Looks Like Penis from the Sky, Officials Say”
[New York Daily News]
On that last one, really!? Has this working clergyman forgotten who ultimately pays the spiritual bills? BuzzFeed UK senior writer Tom Phillips got this thing rolling just before Halloween with his essential satellite investigation.
P.S. As far as we could tell at press time, the New York Post has not yet jumped into the coverage fray. Definitely a missed opportunity for them.