Former newspaper big shot Conrad Black does not think highly of Rupert Murdoch. You wouldn’t think Black, who just served three years in jail for fraud, was in any kind of position to judge someone, but that’s just what Black has done.

“He’s a psychopath,” Black told The Independent. “[He's] like Stalin, except that he doesn’t kill people. I’m not suggesting he’s a homicidal psychopath — he just severs people out of his life like that.” Black then added that he considered Murdoch to be an “astonishingly cold man.”

Well, at least Murdoch doesn’t kill people. It shows he’s trying!

Today, we received a formal announcement from The Financial Times regarding the return of columnist Martin Lukes. Announced the salmon-colored paper:

“On Thursday 5th November Martin Lukes, iconic leader, trendsetter, multiple award winner and former CEO of Atlanta-based a-b glöbâl, returns to the Financial Times with a new weekly print and online column.”

According to the announcement, Lukes is currently serving the rest of his sentence for insider trading but will write his column from inside the prison, relaying information through his wife, Sherril. A financial paper publishing a column from a convicted white collar criminal while he’s still behind bars would be an amazing story, if Lukes himself wasn’t a complete fabrication.

Lukes, and the book he penned called Who Moved my BlackBerry?, are creations of FT writer Lucy Kellaway. It’s sort of like Newsweek‘s Dan Lyon‘s creation of Fake Steve Jobs, without the very obvious satirical title.

Although Lukes stopped writing his original FT column after being arrested for insider trading in 2007, it seems like Kellaway has finally decided to resurrect the character. Could it have something to do with the fact that business journalism could use a laugh right now or is the FT poking fun at white collar criminals like Conrad Black writing for pubs like The Daily Beast from prison?

The full release about Lukes, after the jump.

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Today on Morning Media Menu I attempt to host the show solo (with questionable success) because Steve Krakauer is away filming a promo for TVNewser‘s upcoming summit. Rachel Sklar is the guest today and we discuss last night’s ASSME party, Barack Obama and the press, Yahoo and your personal info, and whether Conrad Black can actually be considered a freak show.

Say what you will about Conrad Black, he is certainly making the most of his jail time. Today he makes an appearance at The Daily Beast to weigh in on Michael Wolff‘s take on Rupert Murdoch. Here’s a taste:

Rupert Murdoch is the greatest media owner in history…but Michael Wolff’s The Man Who Owns The News is a very uneven read…Wolff wades through a confusing and cliched account of Murdoch’s life, replete with factual errors, serious omissions, mind-reading suppositions, extreme psychological liberties, and the conclusion that Murdoch will be “temperamentally compelled” to try to acquire the New York Times, and buys newspapers “to change himself.” I don’t think so.

It’s not all accolades for Rupe, however, here’s our favorite part:

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At least one-time media magnate Conrad Black is putting his free time to good(?) use. The former chairman of Hollinger International, who is now serving time for fraud and obstruction of justice has penned a jail diary for Spear’s Wealth Management Survey. Black, you may have heard, has requested a Presidential pardon from Bush, and more than one person at the Follies event we attended on Friday thought he was likely to get it (someone actually speculated he was not only likely to get it, but that he might be a candidate to buy the New York Times should the recent cut of its divend prove too much for the Sultzberger family).

Anyway! According to Black jail is like going back to boarding school and “there has not been the slightest unpleasantness with anyone.” This disclosure is followed by a number of paragraphs devoted to Black’s persecution at the hands of the U.S. justice system, after which he mentions the devotion of his “magnificent” wife Barbara Amiel. Excerpt after the jump.

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“Did the $12,000 mahogany shaving basin put the apartment in a habitable condition, Mr. Black?”

Donald Trump was a no-show, but there was plenty to digest at the Conrad Black fraud trial yesterday.

Here’s what the jury heard: Black renovated his 4,500-square-foot Park Avenue apartment with $4.6M worth of “fittings” — which Black’s Hollinger media agreed to pay for as a “capital expenditure” — to make it “habitable.”

Just what kind of fittings does one buy for $4.6 million? Glad you asked:

• 1920s Chinese carpet, $33,000

• Persian mother of pearl box, $9,600
• French terracotta vase, $3,750
• Louis XVI-style painted stools (pair), $9,000
• diamond vault, $9,800
• Indian relief depicting some elephants, $17,710
• art deco Wedgwood urn, $2,295
• shaving basin (“mahogany barbiere with porcelain bottle that belonged to Napoleon during the campaign of Russia”), $12,500
• electric towel warmer, $4,300

By the way — the apartment? Black lived used it rent-free between 1994 and 2000.