Several media companies are going to throw Super Bowl parties this weekend. While we appreciate the tradition, it always presents a problem: How do you choose which one to attend? Or, more specifically, how do you choose which one to imagine yourself attending when in reality you’re at home eating Doritos? Luckily for you, we’ve rated several parties.
The FishbowlNY Five Star Rating System™ is extremely technical, so read this carefully — one star means the party sucks, five means you should definitely pretend that you’re rich and cool enough to go. Below are the ratings, via The New York Post’s breakdown.
ESPN ★ ★ ★
Pros: Magic Johnson and Victor Cruz are attending. Performances from Kendrick Lamar and Robin Thicke.
Cons: Joe Flacco will be there. No one likes the Ravens.