Tiger Woods mistress and former call girl Loredana Jolie has finished up her tell-all book “The Real Diary: Lessons from the Good Time Girl to Champion.” From what we’ve seen, it contains all the juicy tidbits and comically bad prose we’ve all come to expect from contemporary non-fiction reading.

Jolie writes that her sexual experience with Woods took her to the “seventh cloud.” We’re assuming this means two notches below cloud nine. Just love editors who allow writers to preserve their voice.

In other news, scientists are reporting that sea ice is melting at record rates–a situation that could prove catastrophic…

Haha. Just kidding. Jolie also writes Tiger is really well hung! FTW!

Previously on FBLA: Jersey Shore‘s Snooki Has a Book Deal and You Don’t