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ABC News is pumping out the “news” stories the way Oscar Meyer makes hotdogs and from the same sort of materials.

Forensic pyschiatrist, Michael Welner, takes some wild guesses with a story headlined:
EXCLUSIVE: What Killed Anna Nicole Smith?
and then works through a list of questions that all seem to be answered by the phrase

accident, suicide or homicide

He also drags in Marilyn Monroe and Ted Binion but leaves out serial dieter Elvis Presley (and with that hair, he must be a fan). And being a well-trained network television expert, he answers the question:

Is it relevant to know about her psychiatric history? Or is that just old news?

Very relevant, according to Dr. Welner, thus leaving the door wide open to further speculations that add to ABC News’ slide into tabloid journalism. Maybe Amanda Congdon can dress up in some Guess jeans and act out some “re-creations” of Smith’s life.