As we’ve mentioned, the new USA Today logo is sort of odd. In a memo obtained by Jim RomeneskoSam Ward — the artist behind the new look — explains the update. Sadly, he doesn’t do himself or USA Today any favors.

First of all, the title of the internal memo — sent to staffers by chief marketing officer Maryam Banikarim — is titled “Cool Balls.” It gets worse from there:

I have a dream . . . that one day all Americans will join hands and declare their undying love for our balls; our spheres of influence, our behaviors, or whatever one chooses to call them.

Actually, and perhaps with an air of creepiness, I DID have a dream about this very topic. I dreamt that people all over the place were talking about the images in USA Today’s balls.

That’s the beginning. Ward’s note goes on:

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