In an open letter to Sam Zell, Portfolio writer Jeff Bercovici implores Zell to hire a speech writer to punch up the “zany” press releases he puts out on the wires.

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“Take this latest release, announcing the hiring of Tim Dukes as vice president of promotions for broadcast and interactive:

Sean Compton, the SVP/programming for our broadcasting division, and I wanted one special person to lead our national promotional efforts online and on-air and to complement the existing product pros at Tribune,” said Marc Chase, Tribune Interactive president. “When that person wasn’t available, we went to Tim instead.”

Really, Sam? A giant conglomerate full of professional writers and producers, and the best you can come up with is material Henny Youngman cut from his bar mitzvah speech?

Jeff goes on…

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