Without further ado, David Letterman's Top Ten Surprises From Eliot Spitzer's Resignation:

10. Entered to the sounds of Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin'"
9. Opening line: "Are you a cop?"
8. Spent two minutes seductively stroking the microphone
7. Reaffirmed his policy of "Bro's before Ho's"
6. His decision not to wear pants
5. Admitted he also once made out with former Governor Pataki
4. Credited downfall to fast-paced lifestyle of Albany
3. He was kinda pitchy, dawg
2. Said he thought the Emperor's Club was a Chinese restaurant
1. When reporters asked how much he paid per hour, his wife said, "Believe me, he doesn't need an hour"