Hey, remember Channel One? The advertising-filled television news show that was distributed to schools back in the 1990s? Yeah, that one.

Apparently they're still around. Channel One is alive and kicking, proudly archaic (shows are distributed on VCRs only! no fancy DVD here!) and keeping the spirit alive with a rapidly declining base of schools who use the service.

To change things around, Channel One has bought in a new CEO and a head of sales whose previous job was at World Wrestling Entertainment.

They've got their work cut out for them. A reporter for Ad Age sat to watch Channel One and found a craptastic wonderland of in-house ads and PSAs:

Except for a smattering of Neutrogena commercials with perky teenage girls for a line of acne medications, the only ads on view the day Ad Age checked out channelonenetwork.com were for websites such as Find Tuition and Careers and Colleges, both owned and operated by Alloy. The two-minute commercial segment was heavy with PSA's, from wildfire-prevention ads to appeals from President Clinton ("When I was in school, I was overweight. I ate foods that were high in fat and didn't exercise...") rather than ads from corporate America's biggest brands. The CW network was promoting a single show.

Just one single CW ad? The horror, people. THE HORROR.