What the Froky? When exes attack, in print

Oh no – it’s everyone’s worst nightmare, or at least everyone who has ever dated a writer: Opening up the New York Times Sunday Styles section and seeing your ex’s version of the relationship in the “Modern Love” column. Thank goodness, it wasn’t you who read this in the Paper of Record: “We invented elaborate skits that usually ended in incredible sex and intimacy” and “it wasn’t enough to make a frog ribbit, you also had to do a ribbit and face of an emotionless frog, then the sound of an emotionless ape, then an ape pleading for emotional connection, then you had to stage a stare-down of emotionless frog versus pleading ape.” Hot? Perhaps, but please, keep it to yourself.

Who wouldn’ be mortified? (Especially with that illustration!)Thank goodness for the redress of The Black Table, where the ribbity woman in question – who may or may not have screamed “God, why do you shut me down all the time!” and burst into tears – tells her side of the story. Her classy version attempts to set the record straight because, as she says:

I know now to a certainty that there is no fact checking….In fact, dear readers, the entire “Modern Love” column is best read as pure fiction.

Read her story first, then his, in order to get the maximum effect. In the meantime, Snooklebums, your secrets are safe with me.

A Modern Love Story [The Black Table]
Froky Doesn’t Play Around Here Anymore [NYT]

Related:
Dear Mr. Ex: Letters to Ex-Boyfriends [The Black Table]
Reading Your Ex-Girlfriend’s Review Of Rebound Sex [The Black Table]

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