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You’ve Got To Be Kidding Us, LAT/ Booth Moore Gives Advice to Victoria Beckham

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While everyone else huffs and puffs about the LAT’s plan to sell front-page ad space (Hello? Who didn’t see that coming?), we’re focusing our flabbergasted huff-puffery at the paper’s increasingly Cosmo-esque fashion pages.

Booth Moore’s piece about Victoria Beckham includes this bit of “Girl to Girl” advice:

However you’re built, be mindful of the rule that if you get your boobs out, put your legs away and vice versa. I guarantee you will look better and feel a lot more confident and comfortable.

and

The most important thing to remember if you’re wearing a dress that won’t let you wear a bra, such as one with a low back or, in particular, a deep-plunge front, is to make sure you have lots of toupee tape to keep everything in place. Don’t bother with [nipple tape] … go to a proper wig shop and get the real stuff as it’s much tougher and nothing will go anywhere when you’ve got that on. Word of warning though: be careful when you take it off that you don’t rip a nipple off too!

What’s wonderful, though, is that since the LAT hasn’t been totally swallowed up by vapidness, what appears right alongside this piece online is a headline reading, “Al Qaeda has renewed ability to attack U.S., report says.”

Ah, perspective. That and some well-placed toupee tape will take a girl far.

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