Maybe you saw Time book critic Lev Grossman using the magazine's back page to ask, "Who is Edward Champion and why is he saying those terrible things about me?" (Okay, he didn't put it like that, but then maybe he doesn't love Barbara Harris as much as we do.) Naturally, it got Champion's blog all sorts of traffic, just like Steve Almond's insane tirade against Mark Sarvas boosted the audience for The Elegant Variation last year. Apparently, even the scorn of a more-mainstream media figure is a surefire growth formula for individual bloggers, so Sarah and I talked it over last night and we've decided—we want a piece of the action.

The problem is, who can we say mean things about until they get mad enough to lash out at us in revenge? Otto Penzler already dislikes Sarah, but the whole point is for us to earn the hatred of somebody with a significant readership, so a New York Sun columnist isn't going to be much help. Stanley Crouch hated me once, but he's probably forgotten about it by now, and picking a new fight with him would entail reading him, a sacrifice I'm not prepared to make. Sam Tanenhaus has the audience we need over at NYTBR, but too many bloggers have tried to pick fights with him already, so he's probably not going to be able to work up sufficient disdain for us... anyway, here's a short list of potential archenemies with the audience we need to take our stats to the next level; who would you pick as our Moriarty?

Remember, it's not that we actually dislike any of these people—some of them we actually read with admiration—we just want the publicity (and web traffic) that'll come when they notice us kicking at their ankles. It's strictly business as far as we're concerned.

*She does the site's weekly critiques of the NYTBR and New York's Look Book.