American Pie

We try not to post untrue & vicious gossip at GC, but when the gossip’s so clearly false, we like to think it transcends gossip and functions more like commentary.

For example, here’s an anecdote recently submitted to bitterwaitress.com, a database of waiters’ celebrity encounters:

I was working at a very upscale place in The Meatpacking District. One night Jonathan Franzen walked in alone and ordered a whole pie and requested four plates. I found this a little odd as he was alone but brought him the pie and the plates. Mr. Franzen then proceeded to cut four tiny slices of pie and put them on each of the plates. He then said to me, as he pointed to each of the plates: “This one is for Dave Eggers, this one is for Michael Chabon, this one is for Rick Moody, and this one is for David Foster Wallace.” He then pointed to the rest of the pie, which was most of it, and said: “And this is mine, all mine”.

Sadly, this story could have been believable — if only its writer had based it on Tom Wolfe, not Franzen.

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