Yes, I know, it's a terrible pun, but it's in keeping with blogger "Slark Pope"'s discovery of a rather bizarre full-page ad in last week's NYTBR: the IUniverse-published HOW TO RAISE KIDS THAT WON'T HATE YOU by "Favorite TV Dad" Alan Thicke.

Pope helpfully translates the ad into layman's language:

Thicke: Having tackled 'pregnant-hood' in my first book, HOW MEN HAVE BABIES, I was pumped to write a comical guide to parenthood -- a light look at the dark side of child-rearing.

mr nice guy translation: OK, you haven't heard much from me since my gig as host of Pictionary petered out in 1997. as you can imagine i could really use some money, so i am hoping to separate you from some of yours. as you would probably prefer not to imagine, this prospect has me "pumped."

It could be worse, though - this could have been a sex tips guide, especially considering the rumor that Thicke taught Leonardo DiCaprio (who began his career on GROWING PAINS at the tail end of the sitcom's life) everything the future star knew about sex...