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Wednesday Apr 25, 2007
Here's A Vampire Anecdote to Gnaw On
"Beavers, to the best of my knowledge, are not vampiric, though the thought of them being so is alternately both silly and horrifying. What I mean, for all you claustrophobes out there, is imagine being knocked unconscious by a tree that's been gnawed through with pinpoint accuracy so as to perfectly determine the angle and trajectory of its fall, and then you're dragged, nearly drowned, for yards and yards underwater, and pulled up into hollow of the beaver's dam where you can't move, and are continually attacked, growing weaker by the day, desanguinated drop by drop and then left to rot once you're empty or dead, whichever comes first. They'd never find your body. The silly part is that it's a ----ing beaver. That's why most people don't take Monty Python's killer rabbit for what it really is: a cautionary tale of nature's true violence." Enjoy the rest of your day, folks! Email This Post |
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