Quality Systems consultant and writer David McKenzie has won the 2009 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, writing the world's worst opening sentence to an imaginary novel.

This prize is part of an annual bad writing competition that began in 1982 at San Jose State University. The contest was named after Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, an author famous for writing the opening line: "It was a dark and stormy night." Read the winning sentence here, and check out the runner up as well--recounting the adventures of a kidnapped Irish Wolfhound.

Here's a taste of the winning sentence: "Folks say that if you listen real close at the height of the full moon, when the wind is blowin' off Nantucket Sound from the nor' east and the dogs are howlin' for no earthly reason, you can hear the awful screams of the crew of the 'Ellie May,' a sturdy whaler Captained by John McTavish..."