That's what the friend who IMed me this deal announcement said, anyway.

"MySpace and MTV sensation Tila Tequila's HOOKING UP WITH TILA TEQUILA, no-holds-barred thoughts on love, fame, happiness, and success and the remarkable story of how the child of Vietnamese immigrants singlehandedly harnessed the web to become a popular sex symbol, to Brant Rumble at Scribner, for publication in December 2008, by David Vigliano and Michael Harriot of Vigliano Associates (world)."

She harnessed the web, people. SINGLEHANDEDLY.

Captain Judy Sternlight at HMS Random House has preempted North American rights to Under the Black Flag author David Cordingly's The Curse Of The Caribbean: The Captain, The Castaway And The Fight Against The Pirates, a look at the fierce pirate wars in the early 1700s, and the maritime adventures of British Captain Woodes Rogers, Governor of the Bahama Islands, a former privateer who circumnavigated the globe and rescued Alexander Selkirk (the real Robinson Crusoe) from a remote Pacific Island.

You can also see Cordingly swash his buckle in the Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl DVD bonus features section "Below Deck."

The agent is privateer Melanie Jackson at the SS Melanie Jackson Agency, on behalf of Admiral Gill Coleridge at Rogers, Coleridge & White.

It looks like Anthony Bourdain has been thinking, and writing, a lot while shooting "No Reservations" for the Travel Channel (which, btw, is the most awesome show on the planet). Daniel Halpern has just bought Anthony's Bourdain's next three books for Ecco from Kim Witherspoon at Inkwell Management.

The first book, Cooks, is a follow up to Kitchen Confidential, in which Bourdain explores how the industry he loves - and the people in it - have changed (if they've changed) since his years in the kitchen, and tracks the bizarre changes in his own life, along with more frank observations on dining, cuisine and the grim/glamorous business of cooking. "More about WHO is cooking in America than WHAT'S cooking," says Bourdain.

The second book entitled No New Messages, is, as Bourdain describes it, "a crime novel about a disgraced former 'It Boy' novelist and a disgraced chef (fresh off a public humiliation on a reality series), involved in a murder on the Caribbean island where both are laying low. The title refers to the unanswered e-mails the writer sends to an ex-lover in Asia; beautiful, heartfelt missives which, though descriptive, are at variance with a somewhat uglier reality. Dark, fairly scandalous with recognizable overtones, lots of sex and violence and a colorful cast of International Expat douche bags." Bourdain certainly has a way with words. I wonder how much of this is autobiographical?

The third book is Bourdain's account/memoir of moving his family to a small village in Vietnam to spend a year in total immersion there, taking time to get to know his neighbors and deeply exploring Indonesia and Southeast Asia. Think A Year in Provence meets The Quiet American meets The Mosquito Coast. But will there be explosions?

Halpern was able to score this goldmine of literary lasagna because he bought the paperback rights to Kitchen Confidential from Karen Rinaldi. "Tony and I have cut into a variety of questionable cuts of meat over the years," says Halbern, "and along the way managed to forge a terrific friendship."

I hope none of these three books involve the testicle eating that seems to be prevalent in almost every one of his episodes of "No Reservations."

For Ballantine Trade Paperbacks, Jill Schwartzman has acquired NYT bestseller Gotcha Capatalism and MSNBC contributor Bob Sullivan's Ten Things Every Consumer Should Know, which explores why America's corporate culture is built on manipulating (and downright cheating) consumers, and how savvy consumers can fight the system. The World Rights deal was made by Daniel Lazar at Writers House.

For Ballantine, Judy Sternlight has acquired North American rights to three new books by New York Times bestselling author Rita Mae Brown. Pure Gold is a memoir about the remarkable animals who have loved, endured and taught her over the years. And launching an exciting, new mystery series, two untitled novels about an investment banker with high self-regard who inherits her aunt's farm and discovers (the hard way) that the qualities that made her successful in her business may not be useful in the country. Luckily she has two dogs, one from the city and one she finds in the country, who do their best to guide and support her. The agent is Wendy Weil at The Wendy Weil Agency.

Finally, there will be an authoritative guidebook for women who want to learn how to land a wealthy husband from a scary-faced lady they've seen on a Bravo TV show! Patti Stanger, whose "Millionaire's Club" matchmaking agency renders every Gender Studies major's senior thesis about how 'dating' is a form of socially-sanctioned prostitution redundant, will co-write 'Become Your Own Matchmaker: 10 Easy Steps To Attracting Your Perfect Mate.' World rights to the book sold to Atria at auction for six figures.

The deal report reveals that Patti will share "her best tried and true advice to help women of all ages and backgrounds learn to become their own matchmaker and find the man of their dreams." Presumably she will elaborate on her "10 Dating commandments for women," which include hot tips like "Thou shalt let the man take the lead and shalt avoid bringing personal baggage to the table" and "do not offer to outright pay for something: once a woman touches money/credit card in front of a male she becomes masculine energy,” which is undesirable."

Hear that, ladies? Stop castrating him by offering to pay for things! This is going to be the best book ever.

Well! Besides "Real Housewife of New York" Bethenny Frankel's upcoming 'Naturally Thin,' the first of a reported six-figure three-book deal, that is!

How's your novel coming today? Wow, a paragraph! That's great. Hey, did you hear that a British publisher has bought world rights to a book about Kate Moss's exboyfriend Pete Doherty's band, which will collaborate with a Reuters journalist to make the book "the most exciting rock'n'roll story of the last five years"? Actually, though, you don't have to get too jealous: the deal was for a "healthy five-figure sum," which should keep the band supplied with substances for, like, a day.