5 a.m. I woke up five minutes before my alarm clock. The next five minutes, I spent thinking mediocre, pleasant, and, ultimately, breakfast-related thoughts. I love bagels, I thought. I felt profound and I felt that life was very profound and I was not at all embarrassed about feeling this way. Finally, my alarm clock went off. I realized that I didn't even need an alarm clock! I chuckled loudly at human nature. I was not self-conscious or ashamed about having chuckled so loud. [more>]