Thanks to a recent contest run by Old "Lizzie" Hag, writers have finally gained access to despair's full vocabulary, previously lacking in adequate signifiers for "...the wave of nausea that hits you when you read about forthcoming books by people you went to college or even once slept with that came out to great acclaim while you haven't written anything in....ever." But now writers have a word for that special wave of nausea. And that word is

PENVY.

Other suggestions, Lizzie reports, included "illiteracy," "Docudrama," "Badvance," "Publishers Lost Lunch," "Publishers Weakly," and "Wednesday."