Barrelhouse is looking for your best writing about the roller derby: “fiction, essays, poems, whatever you got.” The finalists will see their work printed in the magazine’s next issue, with the winner receiving an original work of art from Cory Oberndorfer, which will be just as roller-derby themed as the picture at left but inspired directly by whatever it is that person has written. “This essentially means that you will become immortalized in two formats: your roller derby writing will appear in the pages of Barrelhouse, and will also be celebrated in or serve as inspiration for Cory’s work,” the editors explain. “Which will also be the cover of the next issue of Barrelhouse. So essentially we’re offering to make you a stone cold Mona Lisa style roller derby literary god or goddess whose roller derby writing will live on for all eternity.”

Well, geez, who can turn down an offer like that? I might just have to bust out my old research notes on the ’70s flick Kansas City Bomber…