Former mediabistro.com editor-in-chief Elizabeth Spiers played hooky from completing her novel Monday night to attend the CLMP's celebrity spelling bee, and sent us this report:

Monday's spelling bee to benefit the Council of Literary Magazines and Presses was emceed by dapper Times Styles section columnist Bob Morris, who was introduced by his husband, uber-agent Ira Silverberg. Bob began the competition with some remarks about juvenilia and a warning that there were going to be 'a lot of losers here' by the end of the bee. After asking Rick Moody to spell 'precocious' and a vamp-y Tama Janowitz to spell 'Odeon,' introducing Alex Kuczynski as someone who 'writes about shopping and plastic surgery' and Henry Blodget as someone 'famous for his optimistic outlook on stocks,' the contest began. Some highlights:

• Tama Janowitz is asked to spell "delicatessen". Bob clarifies: "It's the place where you get all the meals for your family." (Tama spells it correctly.)

• James Frey gets knocked out on "duodenum" (which I had to look up.) Nic Kelman, who once did a research study indicating that (if I remember correctly) men have sharper mental powers immediately after orgasm, gets knocked out.

• Bob gives Sam Lipsyte a word he says is appropriate for Sam: "caricature." Sam responds that if he had "known about Nic's study he'd have taken care of business in the bathroom" before the bee.
  

• Publishers Weekly editor Sara Nelson gets knocked out on "gnocchi." So does Christopher Sorrentino. Bob assures him that he's going to win the National Book Award, anyway, so it doesn't matter. Unless René Steinke wins it.

• René Steinke then get knocked out on "ukulele," as does . Kate Christensen, whose name is misspelled on her giant name tag, gets it right.

• Adam Haslett misspells "barbiturate." Tama Janowitz is up next. Bob (smirking): "Actually, Tama… barbiturate..." Tama gets knocked out when she spells it exactly the same way Haslett spelled it.

• Bob gives Sam Lipsyte another snarky "appropriate" word that I didn't write down and sadly, don’t remember. Rather than asking Bob to use in a sentence, Sam smiles and asks Bob if he can "use it in a novel."

• Dave King, Lynne Tillman, Mark Bittman, Kuczynski, Nelson, and Blodget have also been eliminated and Francine Prose, Moody, Patrick McGrath and reigning champion Lev Grossman are the four remaining contestants. Bets are made. Sponsors (Kate Spade, Levenger, etc.) are thanked.
  

And... Patrick McGrath, who is the only contestant "of the British persuasion" wins on "guillemot" (which I also had to look up.)