Never in a million years would we have guessed that Simon & Schuster, publisher of He's Just Not That Into You, would be unhappy with the title of ReganBooks' Be Honest - You're Not That Into Him Either, by Ian Kerner.

"I have heard that they are very unhappy with my book," says Kerner (left, looking like a cross between Adam Corolla and Gilbert Gottfried). "They think I'm trying to confuse people. But I'm not trying to capitalize on their book. I disagree with the message of their book, even though I think it's funny and clever, and my book is meant as a clear response to their book."

Oh, but I am confused. I keep asking myself, What's worse?: A book that pretends to be a sequel, or a book that rips apart the book it's a pretend-sequel to?

Meanwhile, Judith Regan -- the only editor gossip columnists have on speed dial, and vice-versa -- counts S & S's threats among the "saber-rattling letters and threats and subpoenas" she receives "on a weekly basis from various sundry lunatics." (Subpoenas? Someone please tell Regan she's supposed to take those seriously.)