Richard and Judy extend their tentacles into the UK publishing world

Richard Madeley and Judy Finnegan (but really, who remembers their last names off the top of one’s head?) have established themselves as serious tastemakers in the UK, seeing as pretty much any book they recommend ends up selling in droves. But unlike Oprah, who’s content to expand her empire in other ways, R&J are now — evidently — writing a book of their own, reports the Independent.

Little is known about the book, save that it’s likely a crime novel featuring a couple who meet in a TV newsroom (and that it’ll likely sell for a gazillion dollars on a partial, because they’re, like, famous and all that) although John Walsh tries to imagine what the opening lines of the book might read:

The body lay on the library floor, its blood seeping into the tastefully patterned Berber rug, making it look a perfect fright. Death

always makes a shocking mess, whichsomeone has to clean up.

Janey O’Flaherty, sweet-natured, wise and evergreenly attractive chair

of the Little Snoring Women’s Institute, looked at the corpse. He seemed a nice man, showing signs of age around the temples, which had been split open with an axe. A shy man behind the surface bluster, she surmised, probably wary of commitment because his wife had left him on his 42nd birthday to pursue a lesbian affair. Janey had seen it happen a million times. He had a nice smile, a bit like President Clinton’s, but of course -

Her thoughts were interrupted by DCI Ron Matey from the Yard. He was businesslike. “Yep, yep, yep,” he said by way of introduction. “Let’s get cracking. He’s dead. Someone killed him. It’s murder. Did you do it?”

“Don’t be silly, Inspector,” said Janey with a charming, oddly musical laugh. “Why would I do such a thing?”

I dunno, it doesn’t sound terribly thriller-like…

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