Submit to Her Authority

False encouragement, like fiction, relies on lying convincingly. And MFA students, if they’re decent and ambitous, try to learn the art of both — while hoping, privately, that their hammy classmates submit work to Fiction Bitch, fiction’s online dominatrix.

The Fiction Bitch doesn’t want to encourage new writers. She wants to weed out terrible writers before they go on to bore millions of innocent publishing house interns to tears. If you suspect you are a lousy writer, the Fiction Bitch can remove all doubts, thus freeing you for other, more productive pursuits.

Masochists, or sadist classmates: submit stories here.

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Learning to Translate Workshop-Speak

Create a social media strategy, launch your campaign, and track the results in our Social Media Marketing Boot Camp starting February 16. The online event and workshop will feature speakers including The Onion‘s Baratunde Thurston (left), Facebook’s Morin Oluwole, and bitly’s Tim Devane. Register now.