So a couple months back, Doubleday published a book by David Klinghoffer called How Would God Vote?, purporting to explain why conservative values are the holiest platform around. Larry Yudelson and Yori Yanover, unimpressed by the depth of Klinghoffer's argument, spent their summer writing How Would God REALLY Vote? and published it themselves through Ben Yehuda Press. "Where Klinghoffer opposes gay marriage, we support it," Yudelson explains. "Where Klinghoffer opposes universal health care... we support it." Of course, they had to buy a copy of Klinghoffer's book to do their research, but these days"we've been using it to crack nuts," he says. "It's not so good at getting the nuts open, but it's a pleasure smacking the book against the table."

We offer herewith a third alternative: God would not bother voting, but would instead set up a lobbying firm to wield true influence. After all, look at his track record for hardening pharoahs' hearts! (See also the "hiring" of Moses, Daniel, and others throughout the Old Testament to act as "delegates.")