Normally I cringe at articles that involve A LOT OF TYPING IN ALL CAPS because it reminds me of reading an email from my boss, but Meg Cabot is pretty on the money:

2) DON'T BE A WEIRDO

If there is anything that burns me up more than an author who makes no effort to look nice for his or her readers, it's authors who act all weird because they think people in the "creative arts" are "special."

I am not talking about throwing on a tiara and a feather boa, either. I am talking about authors who pretend their books aren't written by them, but by their characters. As in, "I didn't want to kill off So-and-So, but Name of Main Character insisted on it! There was nothing I could do!"

I realize that some readers love hearing this kind of thing-- that you, the author, are just a puppet whose strings are pulled by your characters. Because it makes it seem like the characters are real, and people want to believe characters they love are real.

But I fear that some authors say things like this so often, they are actually starting to believe it. I know this because authors are saying it to ME, in private conversations, with no readers present.

And I find myself going, "Uh-huh. Really? Your characters actually talk to you? That's so interesting, because you know, I made my characters up, so they can't talk to me, because they ARE NOT REAL."

The truth is, authors, characters cannot act and think independently of you because they are FIGMENTS OF YOUR IMAGINATION. When your character says or does something, it is because YOU MADE THEM DO IT. Your characters DO NOT ACTUALLY EXIST except on paper and in your head.

So, authors, please stop blaming your characters for what YOU did. At least when I'm around. Because I should warn you, I will be armed with tweezers, and I'm not afraid to use them.

Also, brush your hair, amongst other things.