Freelance Marketplace Critique of the Week: Stuart Ellison
You’ve posted your mini-bios at the MB Freelance Marketplace in hopes of snagging a great freelance – or full-time – gig. But, are you completely satisfied with your listing? Do you think you’ve described your accomplishments, specialties and skills in the best possible light? Let’s check in with our expert, Jane Ashen Turkewitz, the premiere resume writer for MediaBistro, in our weekly segment where a real Marketplace profile, just like yours, is critiqued to give its owner insight on how to make it even more effective. As a former media recruiter, Jane has reviewed thousands of resumes and has successfully placed candidates at Time Inc., Hearst, Hachette, Primedia and other major media companies. Turkewitz has written hundreds of resumes for writers, editors, publishers, sales executives, marketers, graphic designers, business managers, technology executives, public relations professionals and others.
Today’s critique belongs to Stuart Ellison, whose profile begins:
I’m a well-traveled attorney-turned-writer-author with expertise in legal-medical issues, health, and history. My first first novel, Dear Mom, Dad & Ethel: World War II through the Eyes of a Radio Man, has been endorsed by noted historian Hans Trefousse, among others. Visit me on the web at http://www.momdadandethel.com
Jane opines,
I want you to stop and think about who is going to be reading this profile. Now go back and re-read what you have posted. Notice that the first fact you make about yourself is that you are a “well-traveled attorney…” This would be great if you were targeting law partners instead of Editors. I understand your reasoning for letting the reader know your legal background and I’m not negating its relevancy. But, the reader needs to know, first and foremost, that you are an accomplished writer. Once you’ve made that clear, then let them know you are a former attorney.
A few other suggestions for you.
* I’d put your Web address under the “Other” category as I don’t think it’s wise to ask someone to do any amount of work to find out more about you right upfront.
* Be careful with your punctuation. I see at least one comma missing in your opener. If grammar is not your forte, ask your Editor (I’m assuming you have one because you have a published book) to do you a favor and give it the once over before re-posting.
If you’d like your profile critiqued by Jane (and really, if you took the time to create one you should have the best one possible), drop a line to the Marketplace people.
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