You've posted your mini-bios at the MB Freelance Marketplace in hopes of snagging a great freelance - or full-time - gig. Good for you! But, are you completely satisfied with your listing? Do you think you've described your accomplishments, specialties and skills in the best possible light? Let's check in with our expert, Jane Ashen Turkewitz, the premiere resume writer for MediaBistro, in our weekly segment where a real Marketplace profile, just like yours, is critiqued to give its owner insight on how to make it even more effective. As a former media recruiter, Jane has reviewed thousands of resumes and has successfully placed candidates at Time Inc., Hearst, Hachette, Primedia and other major media companies. Turkewitz has written hundreds of resumes for writers, editors, publishers, sales executives, marketers, graphic designers, business managers, technology executives, public relations professionals and others.

The critique of the week belongs to Cari Shane Parven, whose profile starts with:

A Manhattan girl with a gift for gab, Cari Shane Parven writes for numerous magazines and newspapers covering everything from long-distance swimmers to Holocaust survivors. She has a talent for incorporating enlightening quotes into an article to make it flow seamlessly, a technique she perfected during her years as a television and radio reporter.

Parven is a graduate of Vassar College and currently lives in Maryland with her husband and three children.

Jane says,

Cari, I would revisit your profile if I were you. I'm not crazy about your opener and recommend taking out the "Manhattan girl with a gift for gab" clause. The first line should really draw the reader in and make them want to know more about you. The current opener, in my eye, positions you as a gossip columnist. I'm sure that this is not what you were going for here. I would prefer to read something more professional with credentials backing up your assertions. Why don't you tell the reader about some of the interviews you have conducted instead of quoting something your husband says about you?

Delete the last two paragraphs in your current summary. It looks like you have condensed your bio and that's not really what this section should be about. The summary should be used to highlight your core journalistic strengths. You mention below about your former company so there is no need to have it up top as well. The same holds true for your education and family life.

Last but not least...you have a typo in the word "Socialize" in your first writing sample. Make sure to proofread everything. Then do it again. And, again. Good luck.

If you'd like your profile critiqued by Jane (and really, if you took the time to create one you should have the best one possible), drop a line to the Marketplace people.