You've posted your mini-bios at the MB Freelance Marketplace in hopes of snagging a great freelance - or full-time - gig. But, are you completely satisfied with your listing? Do you think you've described your accomplishments, specialties and skills in the best possible light? Let's check in with our expert, Jane Ashen Turkewitz, the premiere resume writer for MediaBistro, in our weekly segment where a real Marketplace profile, just like yours, is critiqued to give its owner insight on how to make it even more effective. As a former media recruiter, Jane has reviewed thousands of resumes and has successfully placed candidates at Time Inc., Hearst, Hachette, Primedia and other major media companies. Turkewitz has written hundreds of resumes for writers, editors, publishers, sales executives, marketers, graphic designers, business managers, technology executives, public relations professionals and others.

Today's critique belongs to Jill Dudones, whose profile begins:

I have been writing for advertising agencies, corporate marketing and public relations departments and independent clients for nearly ten years.

Currently, I'm working on magazine article initiatives, an 800-page catalog, public relations initiatives, Web copy for multiple clients and my first novel titled Strings.

Jane says,

I've said this before and it looks like I'll keep saying it as long as I'm writing these critiques. The last thing an Editor wants to hear about is a writer's advertising and PR experience. It's not that it can't be in your profile, it's just that it shouldn't be the main focus of your profile.

Your second paragraph in the "Overview" begins, "I am a skilled writer." Everybody in the Freelance Marketplace is a skilled writer (or at least they think they are). Use your profile to highlight all that is unique about yourself. Describe your specialty topics and grab the potential hiring manager's attention.

Finally, in your overview, you've used some form of the word "I" a total of six times. It's too much and doesn't reflect the work of a strong writer. I think many of us spend too little time writing these profiles and end up showcasing sloppy writing. The reality is, your profile is the first writing sample you are actually showing someone. Take your time and rewrite your profile so that it appeals to your target reader and positions you as a leading choice among your competitors.

In the end, I think you may be better off putting your profile in the "Advertising/PR" category where you can get some copywriting gigs. In the meantime, try and get some editorial pieces published on the side. Good luck!

Some of the MB editors had some thoughts, too: "We also noticed that Jill hasn't posted any work samples, and instead opted to link to her own website. This might be okay, if she's believes that potential clients will bother to leave the mb site and visit her personal page; but once there we had problems viewing work samples
there, too. The links didn't open anything."

And my two cents is that if Jill is going to focus on copywriting and PR, I actually think her section under "other work history" is more descriptive and dynamic than the overview: "From Playboy to Kraft and everything in between--I've worked with a mélange of different clients. Whether they were financial institutions, refrigerator manufacturers, direct sales organizations or even a local hospital, I've understood and completed the mission. And, I've yielded results." Potential clients I think would like to hear examples of where you have worked and what exactly you have done for them.

If you'd like your profile critiqued by Jane (and really, if you took the time to create one you should have the best one possible), drop a line to the Marketplace people.