Earlier this week I posted a question from a reader about the ethics of writing about a parent's drug addiction (if you still want to weigh in but don't want to share advice, you cand find the author's email address here.) Some readers did weigh in with their advice, which I'm sharing here. If you have further advice that you think might benefit the other readers as well, please, share!

"I don't want to be known for what happened in my past; I don't want to hurt the feelings of people who are still alive and I don't want to blur the facts to spare their feelings either. Is there any ethical way to write about this or should I just go with my gut and not write about it at all?" To me, this says it all. The question isn't one of ethics; it's one of desire. If what he says above is true, then he has already answered his own question. Namely: don't write it. Ethically, if he did choose to write the story then I think he might want his family's consent. If for no other reason than to forestall the possibility of creating a situation such as arose with Dave Eggers and his sister, for example. While the story Dave wrote was his, it clearly affected his sister and must have created some uncomfortable and unhappy times between the two of them. I think your correspondent recognizes the potential for disaster. I think he should go with his gut. Of course, if they're offering to throw pots of money at him, that may colour his resolve somewhat... Also, please congratulate him on overcoming what must have been a difficult childhood. I especially admire the fact that he conveys his story without coming off judgmental where his parents are concerned. Clearly, he has made a good life for himself and he is to be commended.

Addiction, like alcoholism, are both symptoms of a sensitive person seeking to numb their emotions. One manipulation technique of the addict is the "No Talk Rule" which is where the phrase "If it happened at home--it stays at home" came from. Even though a still drunk Daddy is laying in the middle of the floor in a pool of vomit, the wife is on the phone calling the boss to say he's down with the flu and the kids are told "Daddy's not feeling well today." These enablers are trained to keep Dad's addiction a secret. Only 3% of the population are unaffected by alcoholism--so it's big. They say ( WHO are they?) you are only as sick as your secrets, so if you keep them secret, no one will know exactly how off the wall you are. Maybe part of your author is dealing with the mixed message he received from his abuser and the uncertainty about who his controller is now: He can say no and act accordingly. This is new territory for a person no longer controlled by an addict. Your author either wants to share his story or doesn't. Ethics have nothing to do with it; it's a matter of choice. Others may benefit from his experience, so there are good things to be gained from writing about it. Also, if his true reservation is that he doesn't want to relive the experience or hurt those still living, why not fictionalize it. The writing will be cathartic for his repression, and may relieve a necessity for extensive therapy in the future. Everyone has a story. Few get to choose what theirs will be.

I don't think it's ethical to write about a parent's drug habit or any other habit -- unless it's done in good humor. It's that old saw about keeping dirty laundry inside info. If someone wants to vent anonymously and seek feedback on such a subject, I think it's fine.

What a powerful question. I don't think it's so much an ethical issue as one of personal sanctity and sanity. These are extraordinarily personal issues to deal with, and sorting them out would probably be best done in private. After the sorting has taken place, there will be plenty of time to figure out what parts to make public and in what manner.