I always hear about writers sharing their novels (or books or articles) with friends and loved ones before submitting to their editor, but this always seems like a delicate exchange. Does it complicate the relationship? Do you compensate the person? I spoke with a few writers on what they do when they ask an amateur editor to read their stuff.

"I once paid someone to read my writing, but in the end, it didn't seem worth it," says John Green, who recently published his first book. "My fiancee reads my stuff, and my editors at my day job and my publisher sometimes read stuff for me in a non-professional capacity. I respect all of them as readers a great deal, and when I disagree with them, we discuss it. I fight with them about my writing all the time, and they are usually right, because I'm writing for them and not for me. But my main reader over the years has been my dear friend Dean Simakis. Sometimes I will send Dean something I've written, and I'll be thinking that I am probably the greatest genius of my generation, and Dean will tell me, and I'm quoting directly here, 'If I had to choose between reading your short story again or sucking my colon out of my butt with a vacuum cleaner, I'd go with the latter.' And I won't be hurt, because A. I trust Dean, and B. I know he likes my writing and believes in me as a writer, and C. I need someone in my life who tells me, unequivocally, when something I've done is horribly bad. Dean and I can have a very contentious relationship, and we pull no punches about one another's writing, but it's never never personal, because it's about the writing and not us as people.

"What novelists forget sometimes, I think, is that all books are collaborative efforts, and so you can't really be protective of 'your' work, because it isn't just yours. Book-writing (and even more obviously, book-making) has always been this way. So you can't say, 'Well, it's my book, so I'm not changing it.' It IS your book, but it is also the book of those who design the cover, and it is also your editor's book, and the copyeditors', and for God's sakes it's the readers' book. So the whole notion that you shouldn't have to make changes because it's yours? I think that's dumb. I think you should defend your choices to your readers (whether they're friends or colleagues or people paying you to write), but I think you should always listen, and you should always remember that these people are reading your writing as readers, which is an impossible thing for you yourself to do."

"I am in a writing group with about 8 other people and I tend to show much of my work to that group," says Gail Siegel, a writer in Evanston, IL. "There is no remuneration involved. Usually before we begin a discussion, someone will ask what the writer would like to hear about. Tonight, for example, I will explain that the story is a follow-up story to a piece coming out in the North Dakota Quarterly, and would likely follow that story in a collection. Therefore, questions like 'We need to know more about Azalea' won't be salient, because the preceeding story is about her. Because this group has been together a long time, there is an ethic and courtesy that is unspoken which prevents people from being cruel. We're friends as well as peers, so people are careful to couch their comments in a helpful light. I never debate people's comments. Criticism is inevitable. No two people would write the same story the same way. People have different curiosities and preoccupations. Some people regularly bring revisions to the group but I never do that. I just rewrite with a general feeling for the comments that struck me as most important. I always assume that if you have 3 opinions, you revise toward 1 and away from 2. Why subject yourself to disappointment from the 2? You have to follow your gut at a certain point.

"I love when people write comments on the manuscript itself. That way I know which lines go over well or fall flat.

"I never have my husband read my work. He doesn't quite understand the line between fiction and nonfiction, and often thinks that what I've written actually happened. That's led to some strange exchanges."

"I found Zoetrope to be an invaluable resource," says another writer I spoke with. "It gave me the opportunity to swap critiques with people that I was also developing friendships with, so I got a good feel for what their literary preferences were. The dynamic of the friendships was never injured by accepting or rejecting their suggestions, as it was understood that we were all getting a wide sweep of input from other workshop members. That worked much better than soliciting advice from people by e-mail or in person, as there was no pressure if I or my friends were too busy at any given time to critique a given story."

"I've got a few people I share manuscripts with," says Charles Fiore, a student at Northwestern's Masters of Creative Writing Program whose work has appeared on NPR. "For the most part we exchange stories whenever we have one we feel needs a second set of eyes. With one particular person we hold each other to deadlines and exchange stories at a pre-determined time. Holding ourselves to a deadline, even an arbitrary one, makes us produce and makes sure we keep writing. Feedback, no matter who it's coming from, be they unpublished friends or faculty with 100 publication credits, all needs to be taken with a grain of salt. I tend to disregard any feedback that is largely a matter of taste. Which is why asking specific questions of the reader is beneficial--it keeps the reader focused and grounded in reality. Also, it lifts any and all obligation to say whether or not they "liked it." While I've never debated with a reader re. their comments, I've definitely written back asking them to focus on the story itself, the nuts and bolts things I'd originally asked about. It's important to treat manuscripts apart from any sort of personal relationship. This is why most of my readers are not 'close friends.' Only one of my readers have I known all my life, and it's taken us 15 years reach a point in our feedback where we can be brutally honest with each other and still be friends. After all, people who read each other's work need to remember that they have each other's best interest in mind, which is why we work hard to critique and offer feedback. "Regarding loved ones, my first (and best) reader is my wife, who does not write, but reads a ton and is really good about identifying questions or telling me when she gets confused. Since she reads everything, she knows me as a writer and can give great constructive feedback before I let anyone else see it. Sure, it took a while for me to get her past, "It's great--it's the best thing you've ever written," just by peppering her with questions. Of course, now she never says that--she's more than willing to offer up her critique! But having a team of readers is invaluable...if all stories are newborn babies, than it's good to remember the old adage, 'It takes a village to raise a child.'"

"I only ask 'writer friends' I either know will not be overly harsh or, if desiring a tough critique, those I DO know will be harsh," says writer Paul Toth. "I've never had it affect a relationship, but I could see how it might. If that occurred, I would let time bind my wounds and then never ask that person again. If they were obviously intending harm, as opposed to simply telling me something I didn't want to hear about the manuscript, I would probably say something like, 'Have you ever heard the word 'diplomatic'?' and leave it at that. If highly sensitive and given to hurt feelings, I would avoid having friends read my work, as they can only tell you what you want to hear or be truthful, and in the latter case you're almost guaranteed to find the relationship damaged. Instead, I would just submit and hope for editorial comments, or perhaps use the manuscript in some type of class that would involve instructor and/or student evaluation."