The "Don'ts" are always more fun the the "Do's", aren't they? So if you don't want to be a crappy writer, avoid the lessons put forth in How To Write Suckitudinous Fiction:

Thou shalt anoint no hero.

Thou shalt express no opinion.

Thou shalt commit no plot.

Thou shalt eschew coherence.

Thou shalt flee from any hint of pace.

Or, if you really enjoy sucking, then go on ahead!